By Meara Kincade
“Have you found it yet?”
I wince as the prince’s voice shrieks in my ear and adjust the earbud’s volume. “We just arrived, Your Highness. I will keep you apprised of our status.”
“Stop killing Time, Alice,” Topper says from my left as he returns the tin of teleporting cookies to his pocket for later. “You know how he hates that.” His twitchy eyes scan the tiled ceiling—as if Time were listening.
He’s right, of course. My Mary Janes patter softly as I maneuver through the meeting room we visited less than a week ago on the prince’s behalf.
I peer through a set of sliding doors, ignoring the nonsensical “morals” written in calligraphy on the hallway walls. The backs of two of the Duchess’s guards disappear around a corner.
Fifteen minutes before they return.
Too bad we couldn’t teleport into the treasure room. It would’ve made the job much simpler, but since we’ve never seen the room, the cookies are incapable of taking us there.
“I still can’t believe the Duchess wouldn’t give the flowers to the prince. We paid with the best butter!” Topper straightens his top hat, the 10/6 price card still stuck in the band. “It’s preposterous.”
Don’t let him fall down that rabbit hole again. “Which way, Topper?”
Screwing his mouth to the side, he presses a finger to his left temple. “Left.”
He takes the lead, calling out directions as we creep along: “left,” “right,” “straight.”
“One more left, and—Yipe!” Topper pulls up short the moment he turns a corner.
I don’t stop in time and knock both of us into two short and rather round identical-looking fellows.
“What’s going on?” the prince demands, but I ignore him.
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry!” I say, helping Topper up, but the two figures don’t respond.
“Report, please.” The prince’s voice is strained.
“Everything’s fine,” I assure him.
Cocking my head, I examine the funny little men, noting the names “Tweedledum” and “Tweedledee” stitched onto their collars. When they remain unmoving, I lean over to Topper. “Do you think they’re real or waxworks?”
“We’re real, obviously,” Tweedledum states peevishly.
Tweedledee adds, “Contrariwise.”
“Are you real?” Tweedledum peers at us rather closely.
Did no one teach him the common courtesy of personal space? Before I can reply, Topper interjects, “What do you know about butter?”
The Tweedle twins, who’d been watching me closely, turn their heads simultaneously to stare at Topper, eyebrows raised in mirror images of surprise. “Butter!” they cry unanimously. “Why, loads!”
“It can buy well-nigh anything.” Tweedledee sighs dreamily.
“’Cept a new rattle,” Tweedledum mutters.
Tweedledee rounds on his twin. “Don’t start that again.”
“Do you know what’s the best butter?” Topper redirects the conversation from the apparently sore topic.
As they delve into the merits of good butter, I surreptitiously slip to the side and turn the last corner so I’m positioned before an air vent. Perfect.
A screwdriver makes short work of removing the grate, and within seconds, I’m shimmying through the air ducts until I have a clear view into the treasure room.
Just like the schematics indicated. The fifteen-by-fifteen-foot room is filled with a dozen flamingos and hedgehogs milling around as they guard my target: white roses made entirely from diamonds nestled on a cushioned pedestal.
Time to finish this transaction.
Taking a deep breath, I gently remove the vent cover.
“Status report?” The prince’s voice startles me, and the grate slips through my fingers.
Oh, dear.
Before it hits the ground, I’ve already shoved myself into the room, my dress’s skirt billowing to soften my fall. Every flamingo’s and hedgehog’s eyes are on me.
Let the games begin.
“I’ve located the flowers, Your Highness.” I grab the nearest flamingo and smack its head against the hedgehogs rolling toward me. Dashing to the pedestal, I notice one of the other birds hit a button on the wall.
Drat.
As I grab the roses, red lights flash, and an alarm blares.
Sprinting toward the door, I clear a path with the flamingo. There, a screen demands a five-letter keyword. I hastily type in the Duchess’s favorite word, moral, while smacking away the snapping flamingo beaks and rolled-up hedgehogs.
The door slides open, and I drop my bird before darting into the hall.
I round the corner, flamingos and hedgehogs hot on my heels, and spot Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Topper deep in discussion despite the alarms screaming around them. Leave it to Topper to find someone as butter-obsessed as he is on a mission.
“Topper, the cookies!” I yell.
Two of the Duchess’s guards, a bonnet-wearing pig and a pepper shaker-wielding cook, appear ahead of me. We’re blocked in.
“Merciful heavens!” Topper looks up and fumbles in his pocket, retrieving the travel-sized cookie tin as he runs toward me.
Tweedledum languidly turns his head to look at me, and his eyes widen. “Oy! She’s stealin’ the roses!”
Topper shoves a cookie into my hand while keeping one for himself. We each take a bite, and I imagine Topper’s table, adorned with an abundance of mismatched tea settings.
A moment later, we’re there—and just in time for tea.
The prince springs from his seat, wringing a handkerchief. “You got them!”
I offer the roses to him as Topper begins buttering a piece of bread.
The prince takes them from me, lifting them so they sparkle in the sunlight. “Marvelous work! I do hope the Queen likes my wedding gift.”
I slump into a chair. “We got these so you can give them to the Queen?”
Topper drops his bread.
“Of course,” the prince replies. “Why else would I want them?”
Images of an irate Queen of Hearts flash through my mind, and I search for a tactful way to explain that she despises white roses.
It’d be such a shame if she ordered the prince’s head cut off on their wedding day.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
You’ve done a great job of preserving the original story and weaving it with your own—I’d say it’s worth the best butter! So proud of you and thanks for letting me come along for the adventure.
Love how you kept the integrity of the original story and wove it with your own—it’s worth the best butter! So proud of you. Thanks for letting me join you on the adventure.
I loved it! I was so engaged abd could not wait to see what was next. Suspensful and entertaining at the sane time.
I could not stop reading this piece! Every sentence had me wondering what would happen next. Meara did a marvelous job keeping the whimsy from the original “Alice in Wonderland” while giving it a very fun and exciting twist.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it—thanks for reading! :)
Hmmm…I don’t know enough about Alice in Wonderland to know what references I should know and what is new to this story. The tech stuff sounds modern enough to be new to this story, a very fun modernization of an old classic. It left me with all kinds of questions. Who is the prince? Why is Alice working for him? Who are they stealing roses from? Is he really going to marry the Queen of Hearts!? Yikes. Again, why is Alice working for him? And he seems very impatient and butts in at just the wrong moments. I do like me some good butter though! Here is what I would say to Topper – You ever try to make butter? It’s hard, sometimes it turns out and sometimes it doesn’t, and I hear the cream has to be of a very good quality that I just can’t get a hold of. Kerrygold is said to be the best butter you can buy in stores and it is delicious. I once had some butter made by some local Amish and it was probably the best butter I’ve ever had, it was so good I just wanted to eat it for it’s own sake, but it was a one time sale of some surplus they had. Bummer, no more of the best butter for me. Oh…time to crawl out of that rabbit hole. Maybe I’ll go find some tea…Thanks for the story break Meara! Keep up the good work.
Haha, that’s a butter conversation Topper would have adored to be in on! Thanks for reading! :)
Enjoyed the story but, I do need to watch Alice In Wonderland.
Thanks for reading! I’ve only ever seen Disney’s cartoon, but it’s a fun mix of Lewis Carroll’s two Alice stories: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and the sequel Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! It was a lot of fun putting Alice in a thriller setting. :)
If Sonic has taught me anything, it’s that a hedgehog rolling towards you is deadly. Run Alice, run!
Haha, exactly! Thanks for reading!
Well done! It was a good story!
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. :)
This was really nice I enjoyed the story arc
Another good story kiddo! Keep up the good work. Looking forward to the next one
You took the original and weaved your own creativity beautifully into this story. I love seeing this side of you Meara,or should I say reading this side of you😉 you did a wonderful job of bringing it to life in my mind! Keep creating sweet girl💖