By J. M. Allison
Ziff pushed open the squeaky doors to The Crooner’s Saloon and took a cautious step inside. A goblin hunched over the keys on an old piano, pounding out a medley filled with far too many flat notes. Two she-elves stood on stage, both dolled up in an overabundance of petticoats and ruffles, crooning about some beau who’d done them wrong.
Ziff shuffled to the bar and tried not to cringe as the ruffle twins hit notes he knew the original composer had not intended to appear anywhere in the song.
A few inebriated listeners booed and jeered but were quickly drowned out by a giantess and two she-orcs cheering the twins on.
Ziff ordered a tall, fruity, pink drink with a mini-umbrella and meandered toward a back table to wait for Hewey.
The ruffle twins finished, and Ziff breathed a sigh of relief. His human hearing was dull in comparison to his hearing in dragon form, but not even dulled senses could ease that din.
A pigmy elf in matching vest and Stetson hurried on stage as the she-elves bowed, giggled, and rushed back to join their friends.
“Isha and Kelsa, folks. Weren’t they… something?” The elf grimaced, tugged at the brim of his Stetson, then glanced at his notes. “Next up is Goomer, singing Sweet Goboline. On deck we have Ziff. Ziff, if you’re in the house, come on down to the piano and choose your song.”
Ziff gasped and sprayed his drink across the table. “What?” Surely he’d misheard. A low rumbling chuckle caused him to turn.
“Looks like I made it just in time!” A wiry man dressed in black leather with wild copper hair sprouting beneath a black flat-brimmed hat grinned at him.
“You do this?” Ziff glared at his friend.
Hewey puffed out his chest. “Sure did! You got talent and the world deserves to hear it.”
The piano began an easy swinging melody as Goomer the orc swayed to the beat.
“That’s not up to you.” Ziff sipped his drink, all happy feelings gone.
Hewey slid into the seat across from Ziff and glared. “Since you lost the bet, yes it is. Or are you backin’ out of our deal?”
Ziff bit back his reply. He’d never renege on a promise. A dragon’s word was his bond, break it and one might as well be cursed to human form forever.
“Now scurry on over and pick a song. You’ll have fun. I promise.”
Ziff narrowed his eyes and extended one hand. “And if I don’t?”
Hewey froze, the look on his face betraying he’d realized his mistake too late. “It’s just an expression.” Hewey smiled and waved Ziff’s hand away.
Ziff focused past Goomer’s belting notes and detected the rapid rhythm of Hewey’s nervous heart.
“Nope. You promised, and I accepted. If I don’t enjoy singing up there, we never come here again.”
Hewey chewed at his lip then clasped Ziff’s hand. “Fine. But if you smile even once while you’re up there, you must acknowledge my genius and agree we can make this our regular waterin’ hole.”
“Deal,” they said in unison, then both huffed out a stream of smoke.
Ziff glanced at the stage and the clapping, singing audience that filled the saloon, as Goomer slurred out the chorus, “Sweet Goboline, bum bum bum.”
Ziff snatched up his drink and chugged its contents, praying the pink concoction would bolster his courage. Or his stupidity. He pushed his way to the pianist and nodded at the emcee.
The elf smiled back and passed him a faded list. “Choose anything on there.”
Ziff skimmed the various song titles. He didn’t recognize most of them. There had to be at least one song he could endure singing. His eyes caught on a title at the bottom of the page. He’d not sung it since… well, he’d still been a fledgling in his mother’s nest.
He pointed out his choice then took a deep breath and forced a stream of warm air out his nose. He could do this.
Goomer belted out the last note to a hearty cheer from the audience, then he tumbled off the front of the stage with a heavy thud followed by a loud snore. Several patrons laughed and the emcee clambered back on stage.
“Don’t worry folks, Goomer’s okay. Orcs are known to be heavy sleepers, and by the look of him, I’d say Goomer is at least two tons.” Several patrons guffawed and banged their mugs against their tables. “Next up we have Ziff, singing Great Balls of Fire.”
A polite applause filled the room and Hewey shouted, “Way to go, Ziff! You got this!” from their back table. Ziff shuffled out to center stage on wobbly knees.
On the bright side, if he failed he’d never have to darken the doors to this saloon ever again. He took a shaky breath and nodded at the pianist.
The goblin pounded out the intro and Ziff locked in the notes.
“I’ll shake your nerves, and you rattle my scales. Too much fear drives the gory tales. You stole my goods, run for the woods. Goodnight dragons, great balls of fire!”
Ziff relaxed into the melody and surrendered to the song, dancing and singing just like he used to do as a fledgling. Only the music and lyrics mattered as he nailed every note. He sang out the last lines and savored the final fading chord.
The saloon exploded with cheers and applause. Ziff jumped and for the first time allowed himself to look at the sea of faces staring back at him. A small smile tugged at his lips. Several patrons whistled their appreciation, and a warm glow bubbled in his chest.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Ziff!” shouted the emcee, his words barely audible over the clamor.
Ziff ducked his head and scurried offstage. As he melted into the shadows, a full grin blossomed on his face. Who’d have guessed losing a bet could be so much fun?
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That was so much fun to read! Karaoke is so much fun. (At home that is… I’m with Ziff, singing in public is scary. 😆) Great story!
I completely concur! I’ve never been brave enough to karaoke, probably a part of why I wrote this story. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! 🙂
If D&D has taught me anything, adventurers will burst in to this happy scene and the denizens of Crooner’s Saloon are going to be rolling initiative real quick
Haha! Too true! Thanks for reading.
Amazing story!!
Thank you! So happy this story could bring a smile.