By Cea Green
“Lendur!”
Captain Donahue, the drill sergeant grandma commanding House Azure’s shuttle fleet, blew into the pilots’ ready room like a southern hurricane.
Lachlan set down his dripping mug and gave her a jaunty salute, left hand behind his back to hide the coffee-stained sleeve. He hated that his boss’s voice made him jump like a guilty toddler.
Donahue also hid her left hand as she gave him an assignment pad.
“Should be an easy one…” Was she trying to sound nonchalant? “Head up to Argent, collect Mr. X, fly him down to the R&D center in Skye, then wait for instructions. No questions. Luggage stays sealed. And, for the love of the Irish, keep him away from Scarlet!”
Nothing unusual. Then Donahue pulled a potted plant from behind her back and cleared her throat. “Good luck, you big Viking,” she said, reaching up and balancing the pot on his pad. “It’s a four-leaf clover plant. My granddaughter pots one for every pilot’s thirteenth assignment, ever since—” She coughed. “Good luck,” she repeated, then fled.
Lachlan stared at the door until something wet touched his right hand. The pot had leaked, and now both his sleeves were stained. He sighed and headed for the shuttle bay.
***
After three excruciating launch delays, two inexplicable navigation errors, and one frantic search of the Argent terminal, Lachlan finally located his passenger. Mr. X, looking more like an aging musician than an R&D guy, was speaking with a woman in a red suit.
“I see your pilot has finally arrived.” The House Scarlet representative smiled. “Contact me if Azure doesn’t work out.” She mock-saluted Lachlan and sauntered off.
Lachlan silently bustled the passenger and his still-sealed luggage through the terminal. Despite banging his head as they boarded the shuttle—he usually remembered to duck—Lachlan sighed with relief. Privacy. Finally.
“Lachlan Lendur, pilot for House Azure, at your service, sir. I’m sorry I missed your flight’s arrival.” He shook the man’s hand. “You may sit in the cockpit or the cabin. Refreshments are in the fridge.”
“Joe Enza,” he said before Lachlan could stop him.
“I’m to call you Mr. X.”
The side of his mouth quirked up. “Call me Joe.”
“Lachlan.”
Joe joined him in the cockpit. “Nice plant.”
“From my boss. For luck. Not that I believe in it.”
Joe inspected the pot of clover as water drizzled out onto his pants. “Looks like the auto-waterer is broken; the dirt’s dry, but I’m not.”
As Lachlan performed the systems check, Joe muttered and tinkered with the plant.
“Fixed.” Joe set the plant back in Lachlan’s cupholder. “No charge.”
***
The shuttle had barely cleared Argent’s airspace when Joe started sneezing. Spray hit the viewport, the console, and the little plant. Lachlan had no idea what to do.
“Allergies,” Joe gasped between explosions. “Medicine in luggage.” He unbuckled and staggered aft.
The memory of Donahue’s orders sent Lachlan in pursuit. Too late. Joe yanked open his luggage, and a small, gray something shot out and disappeared under the plush blue seats. Lachlan started toward it, but a despairing moan stopped him. His mind leapt to scientific experiments gone wrong, but it was only Joe, holding a destroyed medicine bottle.
“My assistant”—Achoo!—“must have left”—Achoo!— “the bag on the floor.” Achoooo!
Then the gravity failed.
As Joe’s hair floated out to form a dark halo around his puzzled face, Lachlan pivoted and pushed off toward the cockpit, catching his head—again!—on the door frame.
A little mouse floated toward him, tiny feet clutching the now uprooted plant. Dirt and water droplets hovered above the disturbingly dark console. The pot was missing. Lachlan’s jaw dropped, even in zero-g. Training hadn’t come close to preparing him for this.
Joe floated up and pointed. “You better reboot that.”
Then Lachlan noticed the planet wasn’t in the center of the viewport anymore. They were off course. He hadn’t set the autopilot before chasing Joe.
“Hey.” Joe shook his arm. “What can I do?”
“Right.” Lachlan strapped in. “Corral that mouse.”
While the console rebooted, and Jade slid farther out of view, Lachlan wondered what the mouse had done to the controls while uprooting the plant. He tried not think about getting fired. At least the air handling system was clearing the dirt.
“Mouse corralled.” Joe’s side-smile faded. “Where’s the planet?”
Alarms blared and flashed as the console flickered awake. With a deep whomp, the air handler ejected the collected dirt back into the cockpit. Donahue’s gift was still causing trouble.
“Look!” Joe pointed at a beam of light visible though the dust cloud. “I’ll investigate that. You fix the alarms.”
Finally, something training had covered. Lachlan reset controls and cleared alarms while Joe floated upside down beside him, poking at the underside of the control panel. Lachlan realized Joe hadn’t sneezed once since the gravity failed, despite the floating dust, which the air handler was still trying to handle.
Jade was again centered in the viewport, and only Gravitation still alarmed, when Joe pushed free of the console and strapped in.
“Light was from a chewed conduit. Mousy again. Try rebooting Gravitation.”
Lachlan did, and everything dropped.
“Brilliant!” he whooped. “You’re a genius!”
Joe beamed but shrugged. “No big deal. I’m just good with inventions and machines and stuff. Once a whole family of mice…”
As they walked into the R&D center an hour later, Joe concluded, “And that’s how my new assistant and I outsmarted the mice.”
While waiting for Joe, Lachlan filed his flight report. He aimed for “cool professional,” making sure to credit “Mr. X” for repairing Gravitation. As he was drinking his second coffee and wondering what happened to the mouse, his pad beeped. He jumped, and coffee sloshed onto his lap.
Donahue had jump-scared him all the way from Azure City. Her message: “Take Mr. X to the Azure Regency, then head home. Good job, Lucky!”
As he sopped up the coffee, he muttered, “I still don’t believe in luck.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
This is Lucky Lendur and Company #1.
Enjoy, then look for #2 in February!
Enjoyed the story! I had to laugh at the mouse floating in midair. Quite hilarious!
Thanks! Joe Enza’s perennial mouse problems were a great inspiration for a Wacky Wednesday story. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
A mouse in space would be a headache. That’s probably why everything touchscreen instead.
Mice definitely cause problems. Especially when they chew on the wires for Gravitation.
A fun (yes, wacky Wednesday) take on Joe – nice characterization of him and Lucky; very nice story.
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Nice story!
Thank you!