By Stoney M. Setzer
Rich pulled his chair out from the breakfast table and glanced across it at his grandson. Tommy had his hand over his mouth, struggling to stifle a laugh. Rich bit back a smile. Tommy really hadn’t hidden the whoopee cushion well enough. Oh well, what could you expect from an eight-year-old? He sat down.
Blaaaat.
“What the—!?”
Tommy laughed so hard that he had to grab his chair arm. “April Fools! I got you, Grandpa!”
Rich slammed his fist on the table. “Boy, just for that, no fishing this morning!”
Tommy’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry! I—”
Rich laughed. “And April Fools right back at you!” He reached over and tousled the boy’s hair. “I’ve already got our poles and our tackle boxes in the truck. What’s spring break without fishing, right?”
Tommy grinned. “Right, Grandpa!”
Janice brought a plate of pancakes to the table. “All right, I’m counting on you boys to bring home a good haul today. No fish, no supper.”
Tommy’s eyes widened again. “Is that an April Fool’s joke too?”
“No worries, my boy,” Rich said confidently. “The fishing hole we’re going to is the same one I took your daddy to when he was growing up. We’ll bring supper home, don’t you worry.”
“Now eat up,” Janice directed. “No sense fishing on an empty stomach.”
***
“… And that was a little classic rock to get your blood pumping early this morning!” Chase Chambers proclaimed across the airwaves. “Monday mornings always require—wait a minute! Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt this broadcast for a special news bulletin!”
Tommy frowned, leaned forward, and turned up the volume. He looked at Rich, who cut his eyes at his grandson and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.
“This just in: we have multiple eyewitness reports of an unidentified flying object in this vicinity. It was last seen—”
“Oh, bull—” Rich caught himself, glancing at his young passenger. If his wife heard Tommy parroting one of Rich’s choice words, he’d never hear the end of it. Instead, he snorted and turned the radio off.
Tommy gasped. “But Grandpa! That man said there’s a UFO!”
“What’s today, Tommy?”
The boy squinted, then his mouth hung open. “April Fool’s Day.”
“Right.” Rich tousled his hair. “And that DJ, Chase Chambers, has a reputation for pulling some crazy April Fool’s pranks on the radio.”
“What’s a reputation?”
“That means he’s known for it. Like Grandma has a reputation for being a great cook.”
“Oh, okay.” Tommy scratched his head. “What kind of pranks?”
Rich steered the truck off the two lane and onto a dirt road. “Last year, he tried to tell people that the San Diego Padres would start playing all their home games down in Biloxi. Year before that, he claimed that all of the world’s salt supply had been contaminated with sodium chloride—which is the scientific name for salt.”
“How do you know that?” Tommy asked skeptically.
“Kid, what did I do before I retired?”
“You taught high school chemistry… Oh.”
“Yep. Anyway, that guy pulls stuff like this every year on April Fool’s.”
“So we don’t really have to worry about UFOs?” Tommy asked.
Once more, Rich tousled the boy’s red hair. “Nope. All we have to worry about is catching enough fish for Grandma to fry up for supper tonight.”
Boom!
The truck shook.
“What was that?” Tommy looked around wildly.
“I don’t know.” Rich squinted up through the windshield. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. They continued chugging along.
The fishing hole lay two miles down the dirt road. Few knew about it, and the place was empty when Rich pulled up. Empty, of course, except for the massive metallic disk resting on the other side of the pond, a door-like opening gaping in one side. This time the choice word did escape Rich’s lips.
“Grandpa! Do you see that?”
“Yeah,” Rich muttered. “A bona fide flying saucer.”
“That man on the radio told the truth!” Tommy gasped. “He said that there was a UFO! You didn’t believe him, but he was telling the truth!”
“I still don’t believe it, and I’m looking right at it.”
“Pardon… me…”
Rich and Tommy jumped. Outside Tommy’s door stood a man—or at least a humanoid. He had purple skin and wore a coverall that could only be a spacesuit.
“Out… of… fuel… can… you… assist… please?” He spoke broken English, which Rich supposed made perfect sense.
“Grandpa,” Tommy whispered, “what do we do?”
“Well…” Rich remembered when he and Janice had been stranded on the side of the road in Georgia years ago. A flat tire and a flat spare. He’d felt so helpless, and if not for the kindness of a stranger…
“What do you use for fuel?” Rich threw the truck into park.
“Dihydrogen… monoxide…” the alien replied.
“What’s that, Grandpa?”
“Water.” Rich climbed out of the truck and pointed to the lake. “Plenty of water, right there.”
“Tried… to… land… on it,” the alien said. “Didn’t… make… it. Must… get… dihydrogen monoxide… into ship.”
“I’ve got it!” Rich reached into the truck bed and produced the cooler that he’d brought to hold their fish. He showed it to the alien, who nodded and grabbed the cooler.
It took several trips, scooping water into the cooler then carrying it into the spacecraft, but half an hour later, the alien handed the cooler back to Rich. “Fuel… supply is… replenished. Thank… you.”
“You’re welcome,” Rich said. “Safe travels.”
They watched as the spacecraft glowed and rose silently into the sky.
“Wow!” Tommy said. “Wait till we tell everybody about this!”
Rich shook his head. “We can’t tell anybody.”
“But Grandpa! Why not?”
Rich tousled the boy’s hair. “Because—today’s April Fool’s Day. Nobody will ever believe us.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
what fun!
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!
Perfectly wacky and fun! Really enjoyed this one!
Thank you!
Had me utterly tickled! :)
Thank you, I’m glad you liked it!
Great April Fool’s Day story!
Thank you!
Cute story!
Thanks!