By John de Sousa
βHemorrhoids.β
βIβm sorry, what?β I buried my face in the menu. It wouldnβt be the first time my darling Joe had embarrassed me in an elegant restaurant like Tonyβs. Iβd just hoped our forty-ninth anniversary might be an exception.
βHemorrhoids!β Joe announced. A few patrons side-eyed each other.
I lifted my face slightly and studied his scowl over the top of my glasses. βWhere do you see those on the menu?β
βTheyβre not on the menu,β Joe wrinkled his nose.
βWell, thank God for small favors. Maybe they can special order them for you.β
The young blonde at the table behind Joe snorted.
βI donβt want hemorrhoids!β Joe said, and this time several heads turned. He lowered his voice. βThatβs not what Iβm talking about.β
βIβm certain I donβt want them either, dear. What are you talking about?β
He turned his attention back to the menu. βVirginiaβs son, Ethan, is having hemorrhoid surgery. She needs us to watch Buster so she can take him to the hospital.β
I lowered my menu and admired my husband. The herringbone jacket heβd chosen for this evening with his red and blue striped tie made him quite handsome for his eighty-one years. After half a century of marriage, I couldnβt imagine ever loving anyone as much as this man.
βJoe dear,β I said gently, βVirginiaβs been dead for fifteen years.β
I felt a pang of guilt at my own words. Just let it go. Donβt correct him.
He studied me for a moment, eyes crimped, then glanced around the room. Without a word, he turned back to the menu. βIβm thinking of having the salmon. Iβve always liked the salmon here.β
I picked at my emerald bracelet. Youβve never liked the salmon here.
I reflected on the first time my mother had shown signs. Sheβd called me Lillian. Twice. Granted, it wasnβt unusual for someone to misspeak a name, but Aunt Lillian had died at ninety, seven years earlier.
βIs he ever going to come back and take our order?β Joe craned his neck. βItβs been at least twenty minutes. You would think in a place likeβ¦ likeβ¦β
βTonyβs.β
βTonyβs, theyβd be more attentive.β
βI know youβre hungry, dear.β I placed my hand on his. βBut I donβt think itβs been nearly twenty minutes. Why donβt you have a roll to hold you over? You know the rolls here are always fresh.β
βMm, I guess I could have a roll,β he whined through his nose. βBut they need to speed up their service or weβre not coming back. I have to watch my sugar, you know.β
My beloved curmudgeon. Behind all that grumbling was just a tender, frustrated soul who needed assurance.
Joe opened a roll and buttered it.
The aroma blossomed beneath my nose, and the butter melted almost immediately. βMy, that smells good, doesnβt it? I think Iβll have one too.β
A tear threatened at the corner of my eye. I was going to miss my Joe when the days of confusion fully came to steal away the man Iβd known.
But I will always love you. I just hope I can be who you need me to be. Iβm not young anymore and, truth be told, Joe, Iβm a little scared.
I took a roll from the basket and allowed the heat to warm my hands before breaking it open. January made for such a cold anniversary, even indoors.
The waiter approached our table, his hands clasped. βAre we ready to order?β Heβd be taking our requests by memory.
βAbout time,β Joe said, barely audible.
βYes, we are,β I lowered my glasses. βIβll have the Lobster Newburg, with a Caesar salad and baked potato.β
βVery good, maβam.β
βAnd my husband will have the hemorrhoids. But no salt. Heβs on a restricted diet.β
The blonde snorted again, then choked on her glass of water.
Joe shot me a glance. βYouβre the one whoβs a pain in myββ
βErβ¦ Iβm sorry, maβam.β Our waiter paled. βWhat would he like?β
βIβm having the salmon,β Joe said, then, looking at me, βand I can have salt, so donβt leave it out.β
I smiled back. No, he couldnβt, but I wouldnβt argue tonight.
βAnd what would you like for your sides?β
Joe didnβt answer. He was staring down at the table, his face blank. The waiter gave him a moment.
βSir, what would you like for your side orders?β
βHeβll have the baked potato andββ
βHelen,β Joe barked, βI can order that myself.β
βIβm sorry, dear. Please, go ahead.β I fingered my bracelet again.
βI, umβ¦ um.β Joe looked at the menu, then off in the distance.
Baked potato. Caesar salad, I silently mouthed.
The waiter nodded and walked away. He stepped around the blonde whoβd left her table and was headed toward me.
βPardon me,β the young lady said. βI just wanted to tell you what a beautiful bracelet youβre wearing. Those emerald inlays, Iβve never seen anything like them.β
βWhy, thank you.β I removed the piece and handed it to her. βIt was a gift from my husband after my mother passed.β
βItβs lovely.β The blonde turned it over and around, admiring it. βIf I might ask, what do the inscribed letters mean?β
I paused, swallowing a lump in my throat. βNTM, JTM. Not the memories, just the moments.β
A second of uncertainty, then a slow, knowing nod. We chatted briefly, and the woman departed with a hug.
When our food finally arrived, the lobster was delightful. Joe, of course, complained about the salmon. I let him rant.
I could face this. God knows, I didnβt want to. But with His help, I could, just as Iβd done with Mother. The inscription was right. Life was no longer about the memories we created. It was the beauty of the moments we shared, the priceless treasure of experiences well lived, deeply enjoyed, and yes, too soon forgotten.
I smiled warmly at Joe and squeezed his hand.





Having seen my grandfather experience Alzheimer’s, this story really spoke to me. Very well written.
Thank you so much! I’m glad you were blessed.
So beautiful. Having had family members with varying types of dementia, and having worked in long term care, this story nearly brought me to tears. What a kind and gentle way to portray cognitive loss. You demonstrated the true love between a husband and wife, even in these times. And what a reminder that God carries us through even the most painful circumstances!
What a kind and loving way to portray cognitive loss and the heartbreak that goes with it. Having had family members with varying types of dementia, and having worked in long term care, this story nearly brought me to tears. Beautiful.
Thank you, Jen! My mom had dementia when she passed. The experience taught me so much about life, and love.
What a memorable story!
Thanks so much, Pamela! π
I really like that motto: “Not the memories, just the moments.” This brought more tears than laughs, but a very sweet story!
Thanks so much, Arlan! π
This story was so impactful, John. I read another piece of fiction recently about dementia, so this especially stood out. Very well done!
Thank you so much, Molly! I’m so glad you were blessed! ππ
what a beautiful lesson on love and marriage!
Thank you so much, Laurie! Like Helen and Joe, my wife and I have a January anniversary. 47 years this month. πππ
My grandma has dementia and this story really spoke to me. Beautiful work.
Thank you so much! My best and warmest wishes for your grandmother. πππ
Wow, a beautiful heartfelt story that broached this subject with such tenderness. Both humorous and tearful. Thank you for sharing John!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Tracy! So encouraging! I glad you were blessed, my friend. π
Very nice! What a beautiful, poignant, breathtaking story – and so fitting with the theme! Wonderful!
Thank you so much, Rosemarie! That’s so encouraging! I’m glad you were blessed! πππ
That was a perfect see-saw between tears and laughter β€οΈ Beautiful story, Pop!
Thank you so much, Maia! π π
Such a sweet story π₯Ή
I missed it the day it came out, so I finally broke down and subscribed so I don’t have miss any more!