By John de Sousa
I havenβt slept in three days.
I donβt dare. My chin quivers. βGod help me not to slip.β
The accursed journal lies on the floor where I flung it last night. Itβs skillfully bound, with crackled leather and twisted knotwork burned into the cover. A cover that should remain forever closed.
Yes, I vowed Iβd write my dreams.
What I didnβt know wasβ¦ the book gives me dreams.
My stomach lurches. Iβve barely eaten. Some crackers yesterday. Scattered crumbs dot the nightstand. Food brings drowsiness. Drowsinessβ¦ sleep. Wretched, nightmarish sleep. I canβt give in.
The haggard face staring back from the mirror by my door belongs to someone else. Swollen eyes rimmed with purple betray their semblance to my own. The man I was is gone. I miss his innocence. His unknowing.
Time itself has nearly dissolved. Was it a week, or a year ago when Iβd pulled the virgin journal off the shelf at Cravenβs old bookstore? Does time even matter, once you canβt return?
My intentions were pure. Celebrated by friends. βThis new year,β I declared as we all sipped champagne and nibbled scones in my uncleβs garland-bedecked living room, βI resolve that I will record my dreams. Every morning of every night! Both the weird and the weighty. The epicβ¦ and the peptic!β A round of applause mixed with laughter answered back.
βGood on you, James!β Uncle Edward slapped my shoulder.
The mirth of the dead. Or those soon to be. The thought shakes me. The visions demand action. I canβt withhold the truth. I must dream. I must write. I must tell the world.
Pushing with all my strength, I rise. Cross the room and retrieve the journal. My fingertip slips beneath the cover and gingerly lifts it open. The lone entry begins January 2nd, and ends there. Like a blast of lightning the hellish images from my last dream re-explode upon my mind. Terrible in their vividity, they nearly stop me again from writing. But I gather myself, lift the pen, and drag it to the page.
They came for the children first.
Grief shuts my burning eyes, but I force them open lest I drift. So tired.
They thought they could crush us. Shatter our will. For many, they were right.
My shoulders lift as I breathe in strength. So odd to write in the past tense, when the visions are yet unfulfilled. But my bones tell me their arrival is certain. Imminent, so I continue.
They were wrong about me. Aboutβ¦ Judith.Β
A pause. A tear.
We hid Benjamin in the closet, behind the fake wall weβd made from paneling.
His snores drift from across the hall. The strains of a perfect cello, bowed by an angel. Sleep well for now, my son.
We gave him dry cereal and water. βHush. Benjie. Please donβt cry. Donβt make a sound.β
Judithβs eyes asked the unspoken question. I nodded my silent response. Heβll be okay. Theyβll never find him. But I couldnβt hold her gaze. I bit my lip and turned away.
My watch beeps twice. Time for my medicine. But I canβt stop now. Iβve waited too long already. Pen to page, I begin again.
The gathering crowd surrounded the house. They thundered with threats and profanity. βBreak the doors! Drag them out!β I pulled Judith close to me. Jolted as a cinder block crashed through the window, sending glass shards and wood across the floor. I wrapped my arms around my beloved while she screamed in my ear. They hated us because we wouldnβt comply. Wouldnβt allow the unthinkable. I rubbed the back of my hand. Shook my head. Our lives would soon be required for our stand. Benjamin wailed, his cries filled with terror. βNo, son! Donβt! Theyβll hear you.β
Exhaustion hangs on my shoulders. The pen slows to a stop. Itβs not much, not everything, but itβs enough for now. Iβm certain thereβll be more tonight. I must dream. I must write. I must tellβ
βMr. Wetherington?β The door opens and a nurse appears, pushing her computer cart. A bright smile adorns her countenance, and she tilts her head. βIβm Tina. Itβs time for your medicine.β
Tina? Medicine, yes. But who is she?
Benjieβs snoring across the hall has ceased. As the nurse enters, I spy an older gentleman standing in the opposite doorway dressed in black socks and a backless gown. He rubs the sleep from his face. My gut tenses. Whereβs my son?
Tina points to my journal. βI see youβve been writing! Thatβs terrific. Is that a diary?β She winks. βA novel, maybe?β
I drop my eyes to the page. βItβsβ¦ Itβs my dream journal.β
βOh, how fascinating.β She types an entry into the computer. βI used to keep one of those myself. Anything good so far?β
βGood?β Not the word Iβd have chosen. βIβve hadβ¦ a v-vision. Of the future.β
Tina places two pills in a small paper cup. βReally?β
Chills rake my skin. βYes. Terrifying, stark pictures of whatβs to come.β
Tina stops and looks at me with tender eyes.
βMy son and my wife will be killed. Him by the mob, her by the soldiers.β Outside the window, the sinking sun casts fire across the horizon. βThe night is coming, Tina.β
Tina lays her palm softly on my shoulder. Her long nails sparkle with metallic pink polish. On the back of her hand is a tattoo edged in silver. A number bordered by circuited lines.
βThose arenβt visions, James.β
βButββ My mind jumbles at her words.
βTheyβre memories.β
βMem-Memories?β
She gently squeezes my arm. βYes. Your son and your wife died last year, in the Purge. Thatβs when you had your breakdown. Youβve been here ever since.β
βLast year?β I fight the urge to retch. Peer at her hand again, then shudder as I drop my gaze to my own hand. Iβve been wrong.
The night isnβt coming. I finger my tattoo.
Itβs already arrivedβ¦ and consumed us all.





Great tension. The reveal comes at just the right moment. Well done.
Thanks so much! I had to wrestle it a bit to strike that balance, so I’m glad it worked out! Appreciate the encouragement! πππ
This story kept me guessing the whole way! Rather sad at the end, but it really hinted at some interesting events outside of this little glimpse!
Thanks so much, Ryan! Yes, I definitely prefer to write happier endings, but studying some of those events recently had a really sobering effect on me! Okay, now back to brighter endings! LOL! Thanks! π
Great piece here! I kept reading, holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Excellent twist ending!
Thanks so much, Arlan! I appreciate the encouragement! I do enjoy a good twist! They’re so much fun to write! π
Powerful!
Thank you. Pamela! I didn’t want to get “too” dark, but I did want to capture some of the weightiness of the moment. I’m so glad it worked out! Thanks again! π
chilling
..
Thanks, Laurie! I’m so glad it resonated with you! π
Woah!! That was incredible! You kept the tension building so well, I had my phone in a white-knuckle grip! Excellent π€
Thanks so much, Maia! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Kind of a sobering topic, but still fun to craft!
Wow! That drew me in, then stole my breath at the end. Extremely well done!
Thank you so much, Jen! That’s so encouraging, and I’m glad you enjoyed it! π
John, the details in this story are vivid. Very sad and well written.
Thanks so much, Deborah! π
This story is chilling. I canβt imagine going through that!
Thanks, Zoe! It even kinda freaked me out as I was writing it! LOL! π