An Unhinged Stone Mess

By Kayla E. Green

Huey, god of mischief, peeked over the floating platform’s edge. Below, the European countryside showed patches of various greenery.

“All this flying is making me sick,” Tema moaned.

He turned to his friend. Her face had grown pale.

She put her hands over her stomach. “I think you’re going to have to lead the compromise between the fae folk.”

Huey straightened his shoulders and saluted. “I shall mediate in your honor and make the United Mythic Realms Society proud!” He paused and cleared his throat. “Why is everyone fighting again?”

Tema leaned forward and emptied her stomach contents.

Huey scratched his chin. “No… I don’t think that’s it.”

She wiped her mouth with her sleeve. “I think I need to lie down.”

Huey helped Tema into a resting position against one of the stone columns spaced around the platform’s perimeter, then he turned and faced the stage on the opposite end of the floating platform. Huey studied the faces of the four fae branch representatives who sat upon the stage’s stone chairs: Merlin, leader of the changelings; Morrigan, leader of the leprechauns; Erinn, leader of the banshees; and Finnegan, leader of the sprites.

Huey selected the only vacant seat with the council. “Who would like to start?”

The fae leaders all spoke at once.

Huey held up his hands. “Let’s take turns,” he attempted, but his voice was drowned beneath the others. He shook his head. “Well, this isn’t working.” He climbed up on his chair, tapped his feet in a silly dance, and belted out, “Hello my baby, hello my honey!”

“What in the bloody full moon are you doing?” snapped Morrigan.

Huey tipped an imaginary top hat at the leprechaun and resumed sitting. “Let’s try a different approach, shall we? Merlin, you start.”

Merlin stroked his blond beard. “Yes, well—”

“Why does he get to start?” whined Finnegan.

Huey clicked his tongue. “If we don’t respect one another, I will dance again.”

“Do shut your mouth, Finn. No one needs to see that ridiculousness more than once in a lifetime,” commanded Morrigan.

The sprite crossed his arms and huffed, and Merlin sat up. “As I was saying, Morrigan and I want to place the Sapis Altar near Camelot, but Erinn and Finnegan want it in Ireland.”

Huey pulled a notepad out of his shirt pocket and scribbled on it. “Yes, continue.”

“The changelings and the leprechauns have more religious rituals; therefore, we use it more,” Morrigan added.

Huey furiously flipped the page and continued writing.

“These rocks were taken from Ireland.” Finnegan motioned around. “Sprite magic was used to build the Sapis Altar! It’s how we are flying right now, for Abhartach’s sake!”

“Now, dear, you know the vampire king wouldn’t like you using his name like that,” chided Erinn. She ran an iridescent hand through her long, white hair. “To summarize, we are currently sitting on the Sapis Altar. It is an important structure, built using sprite magic and Irish stones, to be used in many ceremonies across fae denominations, though changelings and leprechauns do have more rituals throughout the year in English territory. As the mediator, what do you suggest?” She raised a pale eyebrow.

Huey stood, scanning his notes. “Why don’t you all build a second Sapis Altar?”

Morrigan rolled her eyes. “Are you really the best the Society had to send us?”

Huey held up playful finger guns. “If you mean best looking, then absolutely.” He blew imaginary smoke away from his pointer finger.

“What she means is that there are no more blessed stones nor a way to create more,” Erinn offered. “The blessed stones allow us to pull fae magic from our courts in the Unseen Dimension.”

Huey snapped his fingers. “Aha! What if you just split this one in half? Problem solved.” He smiled triumphantly.

“You cannot be serious!” Finnegan mumbled. “The sprites poured their magic into this structure, and you want to split it in half?”

Morrigan narrowed her eyes and motioned to the table between them. “We would reduce the connection between dimensions if we severed the center stone.”

“True, but it wouldn’t terminate the link. It’s a viable solution,” argued Merlin.

“We must keep the structure in one piece as intended,” said Finnegan.

Erinn placed a hand on the sprite’s shoulder. “My love, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree.”

Finnegan jumped up, wings flapping violently. “If you all want to split the altar, fine!”

“So… we’re all in agreement?” asked Huey.

“How’s this for two altars?” Finnegan snapped his fingers and crack! The stone structure began to shake.

A wobbly Tema came up behind Huey. “What is going on?”

“Quickly, behind me!” ordered Erinn.

Huey grabbed Tema’s hand and the two rushed behind the fae as half the platform plummeted to the earth below. Giant stones fell in a circular pattern, some even stacking atop one another.

“It’s all his fault!” Finnegan pointed angrily at Huey as what remained of the intact stone altar descended.

“I, sir, am no geologist. This is no fault of mine.” Huey turned to Tema and wiggled his eyebrows.

“If you—”

“No!” Erinn cut off Finn. “If you had controlled your temper, then we could have moved forward and split the altar evenly. Now, we have to help Merlin and Morrigan with this”—she gestured around them—“unhinged stone mess!” She stepped onto the grass and motioned for everyone to follow. “Please accept our deepest apologies. We appreciate your assistance. Isn’t that right, everyone?”

Merlin and Morrigan voiced their agreement while Finnegan pouted.

Tema wrinkled her nose. “Did we actually help?”

“Oh yes,” nodded Erinn. “Though my husband’s outburst rushed things along, Huey’s suggestion to halve the altar was a position we hadn’t yet considered.”

“The open floor plan is actually quite nice,” added Morrigan. “And Wiltshire is much closer to Camelot than Ireland.”

“Goodbye!” Huey bowed, then grabbed Tema’s hand. “Ready to rock-and-roll?”

“My sediments exactly,” Tema replied.

Huey chuckled. “I hope to never take our adventures for granite.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kayla E. Green is a school librarian and speculative fiction author living in eastern North Carolina with her husband and their furbabies. When she isn’t writing, reading, or taking photos for her bookstagram, she loves singing loudly and off-key to K-Love Radio, napping, and pretending she’s a unicorn. Her debut YA fantasy novella, Aivan: The One Truth, is now available through book retailers. Kayla also has stories and poems featured in various anthologies.

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