Mr. Reliable

By Rachel Dib

“I can’t find him!” Becca yanked Mark into her apartment and snapped the door shut. “I’ve looked everywhere!”

Mark furrowed his brow. The living room had been rearranged into a wide-open space with the couch, wicker chair, and TV all lined up against the wall next to each other. That’s not very convenient. Maybe it’s a feng shui thing?

“Watch where you step.” Becca rubbed her neck as she swept her gaze around the space. “I think he’s currently the size of a cricket.”

“Wait, what?”

“Zeus!” Becca strode from the room and returned a moment later carrying a pink hairdryer-shaped object. She shoved the item into Mark’s arms. “I shrunk him! Now I can’t find him, and I need to be at my internship in, like, twenty minutes.”

“You what?”

Becca flung out her arms. “It was an accident! My mom gave me the Re-sizer Ultram for my birthday. I was trying to shrink a cheeseburger—you know, make it less calories—but Zeus jumped in the way.” She shook her head, eyes tearing up. “And then he skittered off somewhere. His translation collar is still on, so I hear him talking sometimes but…”

Mark shuffled his feet uncomfortably as a single tear trickled down Becca’s cheek. He cleared his throat. “So, um, you called me here to find your cat?”

“Yeah. Didn’t I mention that on the phone?”

“No. You just said you had an emergency.”

“A cricket-sized Zeus is an emergency!”

Mark sighed. “Right.”

“You’ll find him, won’t you?” Becca asked, her eyes filling again. “The Re-sizer is easy to operate. You just point and pull this trigger.” She touched a knob on the device’s side. “This adjusts size, but I think I already have it set correctly.”

Mark frowned. “Um…”

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Thanks! You’re a lifesaver!”

His shoulders slumped. “Happy to help,” he muttered.

Becca tiptoed across the room, scanning the floor as she went. The front door clicked shut behind her.

Mark scanned the carpet. A cricket-sized Zeus. Great. He was bad enough normal-sized. Swiping a hand through his hair, Mark eased himself down onto the couch.

“You lied,” a squeaky voice piped up.

Mark straightened. “Zeus?”

“You are mating my human! Stinky-foot liar!”

Mark lifted a throw pillow. “Nope. I’m still not dating Becca. I just somehow get caught up in her problems.”

“She calls you ‘reliable.’”

“Oh.” He set the pillow back down. “Explains the friendzone, I guess.”

“But then, she kissed you.”

“She was being friendly.” Mark leaned forward to peek under the couch but couldn’t see far enough back. “That’s all. Just friendly.” Unfortunately.

The cat didn’t respond.

Mark slid down from the couch onto his hands and knees. “Zeus?”

“You crawl like a dog. I hate dogs.”

Sighing, Mark shifted to sitting cross-legged. “Zeus, will you please come out?”

“Dogs beg.”

Clenching his teeth, Mark closed his eyes and growled in frustration.

“Dogs growl.”

“Look, is there anything I can do that will persuade you to come out?” Mark forced calm into his tone. “Because I’d really rather be home right now.”

When Mark had been sitting long enough that his leg started to cramp, he gave up on receiving an answer. He shifted back to his knees.

“Yes.”

Pursing his lips, Mark settled back down, his arm draped over one leg. “What?”

“You must get rid of my human’s mate. Then I will come out.”

Mark blinked. “Becca has a boyfriend?” Then why am I the one saddled with finding the cat?

“I hate him. He smells of smoke and musses my fur.”

“Sounds horrible.” Mark blew out his cheeks. “Look, I—”

“Ouch!”

A slight movement caught Mark’s eye, and he slowly turned his head. A paperclip-sized Himalayan was scratching his back atop the TV stand.

“What’s wrong?” he asked evenly, shifting the Re-sizer in his hand.

“The human smoke cloud has given me fleas.”

Biting his lip, Mark tilted the Re-sizer. I hope this thing is accurate.

Zeus caught Mark’s eye. Mark pressed the button. A moment later, the micro cat was scurrying away from a rapidly enlarging television.

Mark scrambled to his feet as the TV crashed to the floor. Carefully aiming the Re-sizer, Mark watched Zeus’s escape trajectory. The cat leapt toward the wicker chair’s arm, and Mark clicked the button again.

“Gotcha!”

Like the television, the cat began to grow. Unlike the TV, Zeus didn’t stop.

“What the…” Mark checked the Re-sizer’s setting and swallowed. That’s a big number.

Just as the top of Zeus’s head brushed the ceiling, the front door clicked open behind Mark. He turned as a young man sporting golf attire walked inside. The scent of cigar smoke wafted in after him.

Mark narrowed his eyes. Jacob Courtier. Becca is dating Jacob Courtier? Really?

Jacob slipped off his sunglasses and glanced Mark over. “What are you doing here?”

Before Mark could answer, Zeus twitched. Jacob’s eyes focused on the cat. He spat out a rude word and took a step back, flattening himself against the doorjamb.

Zeus glanced from the intruder to Mark. He licked his jowls. “Oh, you ordered lunch. Smells burnt.”

As Jacob scrambled out the door, Mark cranked the Re-sizer’s setting back to where Becca had positioned it and pressed the button. Zeus instantly began to shrink.

“Well, that’s going to be fun to explain.” Mark flicked his gaze to Zeus. “So, I’ll leave that task to you.”

The cat glared up from his normal height. “You should have let me eat him.”

Mark lifted a brow. “Did you really want to eat something that smelled like that?”

Zeus turned away, tail poofy and erect as he padded from the room. “No.”

“I didn’t think so.” Mark smirked. “But if it makes you feel any better, you scared him off. I doubt he’ll be back.”

Zeus paused in the doorway, ears pricked in interest. He rubbed his face against the doorframe. “Now, if I could only get rid of you.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rachel Dib is a stay-at-home mom of three small children. After marrying a soldier, she left her home state of South Carolina to live in random places across the U.S. In her limited spare time, she enjoys reading, writing, and playing board games. Her other published work can be found in online magazines.

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