By Ava Lauren Grayson
Ring. Ring. Ri—
“Hello?”
“Hello, this is the West Coast Marine Mammal Rescue. How can I help you?”
“Oh, thank goodness! I found this baby sea turtle caught in some netting on the beach. He got injured. I think he is rather hurt.”
“Thank you for calling us. You did the right thing. Our marine rescue team can come and take care of the turtle, no problem. Where are you located?”
“Well, I found him at Wayward Beach, and I was going to stay there until you arrived, but it was getting mighty crowded. So I cut him loose with some shears I happened to have in my purse, put him in a sand bucket—which I happened to have in my beach bag—filled it with some fresh ocean water, and brought him home straight away. I wanted to stop for an ice cream sundae ’cause I didn’t eat lunch today, but I knew this little guy couldn’t last as long as the drive-through line, so we’re home safe and sound now.”
“Ma’am—”
“Ms. Lancaster.”
“Ms. Lancaster, this is highly irregular. In these circumstances, it is crucial that the injured turtle should be left untouched until our rescue team arrives. It’s actually against the law to bring home marine life.”
“I know, but he was starting to look rather blue, and I thought he was chilly. And I didn’t want him to catch a cold. I’ve got him in a nice warm bath now.”
“Um, that’s not— Why don’t you give me your address… Mhmm… Okay. The rescue team is on its way. Now, please don’t do anything more to disturb the turtle until we arrive. Just hang tight.”
“Why, yes, of course. But I do have quite a bit of experience rescuing animals myself—”
“Ms. Lancaster, our rescue team is trained to treat injured sea-life. Properly trained. In the meantime, why don’t you tell me how the turtle looks—maybe without touching it. What are its injuries?”
“Oh, nothing too dramatic, I think. But his flipper was cut up, and I was just about to put some calamine lotion on it when I called you. Let me see… Huh, that’s funny. Looks fine now.”
“That’s not possible—”
“Let me ask you something. Do turtles have purple scales under their flippers?”
“What did you say?”
“Purple scales under their flippers. Oh, and do turtles normally grow rapidly?”
“Grow rapidly?”
“Yeah, like I swear he’s grown twice his size since I put him in the tub.”
“Ma’am, I’m not sure that’s possible—”
“Well, he has. Yes, definitely. And I think, yep, he’s molted his shell. I thought only crabs did that.”
“Well, yes. Turtles can shed scutes, but that seems awfully fast for—”
“Now he’s completely purple! Purple! And are those tentacles?”
“Tentacles? Ms. Lancaster, what you’re describing doesn’t sound like any turtle I’ve ever—”
“Oh my gosh, he’s climbing the wall! He’s scaling the tile, I’m telling you.”
“Um, ma’am, please stay calm. Our animal rescue team is on the way.”
“Do you think a cut from infected netting could have given the turtle some sort of disease?!”
“This doesn’t sound like a turtle, ma’am. Please stay calm.”
“But he had a shell, and he’s got thick scales and… They’re turning white and… Oh my gosh, he’s gone!”
“Gone?”
“Yes, the creepy sea-squid monster just vanished!”
“Ms. Lancaster, based on your description, you might have brought home some sort of octopus. And octopi can camouflage. But, again, bringing home a marine animal such as that is a serious offense.”
“I don’t care! And this is no octopus! It’s making weird sounds.”
“What kind of sounds?”
“Like, it’s growling at me. But I can’t see where it’s growling from. It’s invisible. My friends warned me to stop bringing home wild animals, but I thought the last few disasters were just bad luck. What’s happening?”
“Ms. Lancaster, I suggest you leave the bathroom, close the door, and wait patiently until our rescue team arrives—”
“Shh…”
“Ma’am. Are you still there?”
“Yes. It’s stopped. The growling has stopped. I’m trying to see where it—Ahhhhhhh! The thing is on fire. There it is! It’s on the ceiling! Oh gosh, it’s above me. And it’s on fire!”
“Ma’am??”
“It’s got fangs! A flaming tongue and fangs!”
“I don’t understand.”
“This is not a turtle! It’s not a tur—”
Beeeeeeeppppppppp.
“Ma’am? Ma’am?”
Ring. Ring—
“Hello, this is the West Coast Marine Mammal Rescue. How can I help you?”
“Hi.”
“Yes, hi.”
“I was wondering if you received any unusual calls today.”
“Um… Yes. But how did you—”
“Did you rescue any strange marine life?”
“Actually, sort of, but… Who is this?”
“Never mind who this is. Where’s the turtle?”
“How did you know we got a call about a turtle?”
Silence.
“Hello? Sir?”
“It’s mine.”
“What is?”
“The turtle.”
“Sir, it’s illegal to own a wild animal.”
“Who said it was a wild animal? Did you bring it in?”
“Um…no. When the rescue team went to pick it up, there was no sign of the turtle or the woman who called in the report. They seemed to have vanished.”
“I see. So you have no idea where it is? Well, you need to call me immediately once you find it. It’s extremely important that no one touches it.”
“Okay… Listen, who is this? Your caller ID is for Rebirth Laboratories. What do you want with our marine life?”
Beeeeeepppppp.
“Sir? Hello?”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hmmmm. Rebirth Laboratories sounds rather suspicious to me. Great story!
It is very suspicious! Haha. Thank you!!
weird, (good weird for us readers) and intesting. sure hope ms. Lancaster is ok…..
Thank you so much! Good weird is perfect.
I liked the back and forth. Creative.
Thank you! So glad you liked it!
This is a very unique way to tell a story, entirely through dialogue! Intriguing ending :D
Thank you! I’m really glad you enjoyed the dialogue.
Ohhh, that was fun! Very creatively told, too. I’d… um… like to know what that creature was, maybe. Or maybe I don’t! lol
Aww thank you so much!! And you might have to call Rebirth Laboratories for that info. ;)
The way you told this made it just that much more hilarious. I empathize with the poor West Coast Marine Rescue phone operator…
…weird things happen at work.