Open Communication

By Rachel Dib

“Thanks so much for watching Zeus on such short notice! You’re a lifesaver!”

Mark shrugged. “Well, you said I only had to sit and, like, watch TV with him, so…”

“Yeah, he won’t be any trouble.” Becca bent toward the cream-colored Himalayan curled up on the couch. She lifted his face between her palms so that his cheeks bulged. “You won’t be any trouble, will you Zeus?”

“Ow,” an automated voice stated.

“Oh, sorry.” Becca released the cat’s head.

“Did your cat just—”

“Anyway, he shouldn’t be any trouble.” Becca grabbed her backpack. “Zeus is just feeling a little poorly today, and I didn’t want to leave him alone.”

“Okay…” Mark eyed the cat warily. Zeus glowered back. “He looks like he wants to kill me.”

“I do want to kill you.” Zeus glanced away. “But, alas, I am too small.”

“What the—”

“Oh, ignore him,” Becca said, patting Zeus lightly on the back. “He’s just a bit cranky today.”

“Am not.”

Mark took a step backward, glancing at the door. “Um, you didn’t tell me you had a talking cat, and—”

“It’s just the collar! Didn’t I tell you about it?”

“No.”

“Well, they’re advertised all over the place.” She brushed aside the fur bunched around Zeus’s neck to reveal a black collar with a bulbous screen at its center. “It translates your pet’s thoughts and interprets what you say back to them.”

“Uh.” Mark bit his lip.

“Head scratch.”

Becca scratched Zeus’s head. “This collar makes life so much easier.”

“Enough.”

“See? I always know exactly what he wants.” Becca slung her backpack over her shoulder. “Now, I really need to get to class. Professor Whittaker locks the door as soon as his watch says it’s one o’clock. Which, you know, may or may not be the actual time.” She shrugged. “You good now?”

“Um.”

“Great! I’ll be back around three. Thanks so much!” Becca waved one final time before closing the door behind her.

“Right,” Mark sighed as he turned toward the cat.

“I hate you.”

“Good to know. I’m actually not much of a cat person myself.” Spotting the TV remote, Mark grabbed it and plopped down on the couch.

“I will bite you.”

Mark moved to the wicker chair.

“You are not my human.”

“That’s true.” Mark clicked on the television. When a commercial for the pet translation collar appeared on the screen, he shook his head. “How did I miss this?”

“My human smells of flowers,” Zeus continued. “You smell of feet.”

“I’m not sure this technology is as great as people think,” Mark muttered, changing the channel.

“Your scent offends me.”

“Well, sorry. I can’t do anything about it.” Mark flipped the channel again. “Ooh, fights are on!”

Zeus flicked his gaze at the television. “Why is one human sitting on another human?”

“It’s a mixed martial arts fight. The guy on top is trying to submit the guy on the bottom.”

“That is not a fight. That is…” Zeus sat up, his ears pricked in interest. “Top human hit bottom human.”

“Yep. Hey, do you know if Becca has any chips or popcorn or anything?”

“My human eats crunchy leaves,” Zeus replied, still glued to the TV.

Mark grimaced and tugged his phone from his pocket. “I’ll order a pizza.”

Zeus stretched and hopped down from the couch. “I am going poop.”

“Not something I needed to know.”

“My human should not have left me with this stinky foot human. Maybe I will poop in her foot things.”

“Or not!” Mark popped to his feet. He closed the bedroom door just before the cat reached it.

Zeus sat, glowering up at Mark, his tail flicking from side to side. “Open door.”

“No way. I’m not letting you poop in Becca’s shoes.”

“Open door.”

“No.”

With one final glare, Zeus lunged at Mark’s ankles.

“Hey! No biting!” Mark exclaimed, side-stepping the cat’s attack.

“Open door.”

“No.”

Zeus lunged again. This time, he caught Mark’s pant leg.

“Stop or I’ll lock you in a closet!”

The cat yowled, prompting the collar to translate words Mark thought should’ve been censored.

“Rude,” Mark muttered, following Zeus into the bathroom.

Zeus climbed in his litter box. “I poop in sand.”

“Good.”

Still, Mark waited in the doorway for another minute before heading back to the living room. This is way more work than Becca said it’d be. Slipping his phone from his pocket, he sank back into the chair.

“Sweet,” he murmured, seeing a notification that his pizza was on the way.

“Why are you happy?”

Mark jumped. “Oh. My pizza is almost here.”

Zeus sidled over to the chair and jumped into Mark’s lap.

Mark flung out his hands. “Um, what are you doing?”

“Sitting.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t stand my smell.”

“I coughed up a furball in the kitchen. Now, I can tolerate your stink.”

“Wait, are you serious?”

The cat curled up in Mark’s lap and closed his eyes. “Don’t move.”

“But what about—”

Zeus swiveled his head around to glare up at Mark. “Move and I’ll bite you.”

“Hey, why is there a cold pizza on the doorstep?” Becca asked, stepping inside. Seeing Zeus asleep on Mark’s lap, she smiled. “Aww, you two are so sweet!”

Mark crossed his arms as the cat yawned and hopped down from his lap. Finally free, he stood up and brushed off his pants.

“You should’ve let me get a picture first,” Becca pouted, holding up her phone.

Mark snatched the pizza box and strode toward the door. “Your cat is a jerk.”

“And you’re not good enough for my human.”

Both Mark and Becca’s gazes snapped toward Zeus.

“Zeus, what are you talking about?” Becca asked, bending down to the cat’s level. “Mark and I are just friends.”

When Zeus flicked his gaze to Mark, Mark shook his head. “Totally not together.”

Zeus turned and started walking away. “And now you’ll stay that way.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rachel Dib is a stay-at-home mom of three small children. After marrying a soldier, she left her home state of South Carolina to live in random places across the U.S. In her limited spare time, she enjoys reading, writing, and playing board games. Her other published work can be found in online magazines.

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