I scrambled up the jagged mountainside, the indifferent wind numbing my face. Why don’t dragons prefer tropical islands?
The thought of my bedridden mother and hungry siblings spurred me onward. Just a few gold coins from the dragon’s treasure. Easy in, easy out.
I glanced down at the valley. Our dwindling flock of sheep…
Outside the glass walls of my office, people bustled purposefully about the main floor of the Magical Persons Agency. I, however, sat behind my desk ready to hit my head against one of said walls.
Someone knocked on my door, then rattled the handle. I looked up just as Agent Natalia phased through the
“Behold!”
The ringmaster’s bellow startled me into sitting up so fast I slammed into the calliope I was fixing. With a moan, I squirmed out from under it.
Mr. Trent brandished a contraption that looked like a bicycle snapped in half. “Behold the latest invention, the unicycle! Its rider will save Trent’s Traveling Circus.”
“I understand your frustration, and can offer you a ten percent off coupon for any inconvenience this situation has caused.” I hold the glossy paper out in front of me like a shield. Judging by her pursed lips and battle stance—the kind honed in combat during multiple tours of 4 a.m. Black Friday
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Cooling my jets on a passenger transport from the outer planets to Mars, I was looking forward to conducting my research on pre-android robots from a safe, but observable, distance from Earth. Naturally, that’s when it happened.
The radio crackled and the captain of a passing freighter, leaving Mars for the outer quadrants,
“Officer, what you mean I can’t pump my own gas?” The shorter man scowled up from his car, biting off his words. The neon sign of the station flickered on and off while the smell of exhaust filled Officer Ortega’s nostrils.
Ortega sighed. “I’m sorry sir, that’s the law in New Jersey,”
Carter walks through the terminal doors and blinks. One minute ago, he was stumbling around in the dark, lost in a briar patch along the Appalachian Trail. Now he’s standing in what looks like an airport from the 1970s. A group of stewardesses in robin’s-egg blue uniforms giggle and wave as they pass.
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“Perhaps the necromancer’s asleep?” asked One-Legged Val.
From a distance, the necromancer’s ship looked abandoned, dark except for the giant glowing diamond shining from the masthead like a full moon. The crew of Nevermore floated in deep water off the coast of Dogshead Isle, their lanterns doused and sails tied down, transfixed
“Derek Percy handed me a challenge.” Hazel Williamson gripped the edge of her desk as she leaned toward her screen. “It’s the toughest our company’s ever faced.”
Nui grinned at his CEO. “Hazel, Earth Extreme Travel lives on challenge.” He jerked his thumb toward the advertising hologram by his X-Games trophies. “Says so, right there.”
There’s nothing like finding yourself in the middle of nowhere, in a strange country, sitting like bait in a trap under a giant fig tree, to make you stop and think about your life-choices.
I always considered myself to be a reasonably intelligent, cautious person, but would a reasonably intelligent, cautious person be…
“What’s the main difference between Bigfoot, the Yeti, and the Tasmanian Tiger?” challenged Boof Turnbull, the bulldog-faced mayor of Dunnayewie.
The small gathering shuffled their feet and made asides to each other, fearing a trick question.
Finally, Shady Oaks ventured, “There’s no Bigfoot or Yeti here in Tassie?”
“Jesus, clowns to the left
I knew I would regret taking Cuthbert Devereaux’s navigation advice.
When my old nemesis butted into my mission in Nazi Germany, he brought nothing but trouble. It’s entirely his fault we landed in colonial Australia. Now we’re trussed like roasted chickens and propped against a pile of dusty saddlebags in an outlaw camp.
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