By John Leatherman
“Julia, breaking up with you was a terrible mistake. Please forgive me.”
That text was endearing the first time I saw it.
Not so much now that I’ve learned it’s because Brad’s new girlfriend got clingy.
I swipe left and tap “Delete and Block.”
Since Brad still has my spare key, I’m sacrificing my Saturday in the one place he can’t follow me—my cubicle inside the secure facilities of Quantum Particle Laboratories.
My colleague Dennis Asbury approaches with a clipboard. “Julia, I was saving this for our dinner tonight, but since you’re here—can I get your thoughts on an experiment I ran?”
Quark it all, I forgot the other guy I’m trying to avoid today. The aforementioned dinner is so late I can easily blow it off, but for now I have to confront him.
“Let me save you some time.” I flip the clipboard around, showing a series of line graph plots spelling out Marry me, Julia. “The results are conclusive, Dennis. NO!”
Dennis chokes up, his brain seeming to experience a hard reboot.
“How do I know about the clipboard? I’m in some kind of time loop. I’ve relived March 31 over two hundred times. And it never gets easier to say you’re my friend—nothing more!” Of course he won’t remember this in the morning, but maybe he’ll think I’m crazy and leave.
Dennis gasps, sputters, and finally manages intelligible words. “This is amazing! Not the rejection—that hurts like Heisenberg—but don’t you see, Julia? Those mystery particles Dr. Gray wanted us to research? They’re tachyons, the theoretical—well, not any more—particle that can travel backward in time! We’ll be famous!”
“If we ever make it to tomorrow.”
“All we have to do is shut down the accelerator, and the repetitions will stop.”
***
In the control room overlooking the main centrifuge, concealed behind corrugated metal blinds, Dennis punches futilely at the emergency stop. My eyes flick between monitors and gauges flashing with continually rising indicators.
Blond and statuesque, Dr. Dorian Gray enters the control room. “Oh, that won’t stop the accelerator once it’s started.” He directs Dennis toward a side door marked with hazard stripes. “There’s a manual switch on the catwalk.”
Dennis peers through. “Catwa—?”
I gasp as Gray shoves Dennis into the cavernous abyss and slams the door.
Gray dusts off his hands. “Relax, Miss Miller. He’s only dead for today.” He leers at me. “But you knew that. How’d your reconciliation with Brad go?”
Eyes bulging, I wince. “You know time’s looping?”
“Behold!” He flips a lever on the console, and the corrugated blinds rise to reveal the cavernous accelerator chamber, pulsating nightmarish red. A swirling configuration of four massive concentric cadmium rings gyrate around a hideous portrait.
I cringe. “What is that monstrosity?”
Gray primps. “Surely you notice the resemblance. For decades, the painting has aged instead of me. But I knew the canvas itself would someday decay as all things do—unless I found a way to reverse time! And for whatever reason, Julia, it has brought us together, forever asunder from eternity, now that we’ve harnessed the painting’s magic!”
“There’s nothing magic about tachyons!” Clutching the outermost ring, Dennis swings and leaps to the next ring in as it whirls past. “The world needs to know what we’ve discovered.” He jumps to the next ring. “But that can only happen if tomorrow comes!”
Gray gasps. “You fool! You can’t stop this reaction… You can only destabilize it!”
Now dangling from the innermost ring, Dennis balks. “You mean—today still repeats, but for the last time?”
“Precisely—but it won’t be a perfect reset!”
Dennis hesitates. “So. If this kills me, I might not come back?”
“Now you understand!”
Casting me a smile, Dennis shrugs. “Well, Julia, at least you’ll get to move on!”
As he kicks the painting out of the centrifuge, I shout, “No!”
A massive explosion consumes us all.
***
The deejay’s voice blasts from my nightstand clock-radio. “Good morning, Eastville! It’s Sunday, April first. And no, you didn’t sleep through Saturday… That was an early April Fool’s joke.”
Pushing back my bedsheets, I struggle into alertness. Funny, I’d have believed November 30. I’ve had the strangest dream—seemed to repeat itself forever.
Why can’t I remember any of it?
“In more serious news, a massive explosion rocked the accelerator chamber at Quantum Particle Labs. While first responders report no injuries, an unidentified body has been recovered from the wreckage.”
The mention of my workplace jolts me from bed. And, although I’m unsure why, I fear that body is Dennis.
***
Coworkers cluster around the crime scene tape cordoning off QPL. While I don’t see Dennis among them, my ex-boyfriend’s here.
Strange—Brad broke up with me last week, but it feels like months ago.
“Julia, I’m so glad that body on the news wasn’t you! It got me thinking, though. Breaking up with you was a terrible mistake. Please forgive me.”
I’ve been hoping he’d say that all week.
Why doesn’t hearing it feel right?
A policeman with a bullhorn emerges from the main entrance. “Good news, everyone, this is no longer a homicide. That body’s been dead at least a century. But we have many questions for Dr. Dorian Gray, if anyone knows where to find him.”
Dennis emerges from the crowd. “Julia, you’re all right!”
I hug him. “Dennis!” Why am I so surprised to see him alive?
Another cop approaches. “Would that be Dennis Asbury?”
Dennis nods.
“I believe this belongs to you. We’ve determined it isn’t relevant to the case.” He hands Dennis an evidence bag. The transparent film reveals Dennis’s personalized clipboard—with line graphs that spell out Marry me, Julia.
Blushing, Dennis chuckles uneasily. “Heh-heh. That was, uh, an experiment…”
That’s when I remember everything. Everything Gray tried to do. And everything Dennis sacrificed for me. “The results are conclusive, Dennis.” I kiss him. “Yes!”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Clever idea to merge “Dorian Gray” with “Groundhog Day.” Well done!
Glad you enjoyed it! Dorian Gray turned out to be to perfect device to conclude my “April Fool’s Eve” story world.
This was a super fun read, John! Great ending!
Interesting way to look at time travel!
Tachyons. The particles that moonwalk the arrow of time. Dennis says they’re not magic, but dang, their moves are better than Jagger. And if that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.
Gray trying to time travel his portrait was really clever.
Awww! I love the ending. And the entire story. Funny, clever, with nice dialog and characterizations. I enjoyed reading it and didn’t want to see it end.