Mermaid Mob

By Elizabeth Anne Hale

Joe’s gonna kill me for ditching him.

I surveyed the crowd of humans—attendees of the annual Legendary Law Enforcement Ball—craning my neck to see over their heads as I inhaled another small pastry.

Nah, he wouldn’t kill me. That’d be too much paperwork.

Cool night air swirled through the crowded garden, brushing against my splayed gills. I ran a hand down my neck. My satin gown swished against my awkward land legs. On one side of the garden, a giant fish tank sported native fish. On the other, Loch Ness stretched out into the night.

A flicker of black on the lake’s mirror-like surface caught my eye. I squinted past the sea of feathers and pearls decorating the nobles’ gowns, but the golden light from the hanging lanterns threw off my focus. I frowned.

Joe broke through the crowd, panting. He wiped sweat from his mostly bald head. “Honorary assistant or not, you’re still a mermaid. Stay at my side.”

I tossed my black hair. “I’m not doing anything sketchy, Joe. They can’t arrest me just for having scales.”

“I told you to call me Mr. Enza in public. You’re not just an informative ship mechanic anymore.” Joe glanced at a group of nearby officers and lowered his voice. “You’re here to make a good impression, right?”

“Of course.” I smirked. “Why do you think I ditched you?”

Joe scowled and opened his mouth to reprimand me, but a loud splash cut him off, and the crowd whirled to face the lake.

My breath caught in my throat. “Get back from the water!” I shrieked.

Nearly a hundred mermaids clad in black surged out of the churning lake, transformed their tails into scaly legs, and swept over the fence. Screams erupted from the civilians, while the chief of the LLE officers—ellies, as we mermaids call them—began shouting orders somewhere. Joe drew a dagger out of his gray uniform coat and braced himself in front of me.

“What are you doing?” I shouted over the chaos. I stood on tiptoe to view the lake. A glimpse of white teeth, towering neck, and a dark fedora confirmed my suspicions. The Loch Ness Mobster and her mermaid gang.

“Protecting you.” Joe’s gaze swept methodically over the crowd. “I’m not about to lose my first competent assistant.”

I scoffed and stepped around him. “I can defend myself from my own kind, thanks.” I glanced down at my full skirt. “Give me your knife.”

“I’m protecting you from the officers, Valerie. It already looks mighty suspicious for a lone mermaid to wander around at the LLE’s ball, but now that there’s a mermaid ambush?” He raised his wild eyebrows.

I scowled. “Fair enough. But give me your knife so I can slash my skirt. Land legs are uncomfortable enough without all this fabric. Then get me to the lake, and I’ll be free.”

Joe flipped the knife and handed it to me, eyes on the fleeing and fighting. I could tell he itched to prove his merit. “We both know the lake isn’t safe.”

I cut two deep strokes through the fabric, front and back. “I’m more likely to be mistaken for a mobster and turned to seafoam than I am to be caught by the Boss.” I winked. “I can outmaneuver that old long-neck any day of the week.”

Joe raised an eyebrow and frowned. “Have you tried?”

“Every mermaid in Scotland has run into Nessie at some point. She gets around.” Satisfied with my cutting job, I handed the knife back to him. “On three—”

My eyes locked on the chief ellie. He tried to kick a scowling mermaid as she lunged to stab a collapsed constable, but she saw him and rolled out of the way before he made contact. No seafoam for her today.

The chief froze when he saw me.

No seafoam for me, either. “Forget three! Go!” I bolted without waiting for Joe, hiking up the ruffles of my skirt for extra speed. If he couldn’t keep up, he was useless anyway.

A glance over my shoulder guaranteed the threat. The chief shoved his way through the battle, sword drawn. He tried to shove a few mermaids into oblivion on his way, but our reflexes are unmatched.

Unfortunately, my land speed could easily be matched by an infuriated ellie.

“Chief Token!” Joe shouted over his shoulder as he struggled to evade the attacks of two mobster mermaids at once. “Chief, that one’s not—”

After that, all I heard was the pounding of my heart, the rushing of the wind, and the slapping of my bare emerald feet on the slick stones of the Galleria Plaza.

A dagger whizzed past my ear, and I screamed in mermaids’ pitches, a sound intended only for underwater. Every mermaid in the plaza winced, but humans couldn’t hear it. Puddles trembled under the chief’s heavy footfalls. The lake stretched yards away. I’m not going to make it.

Token leapt over a bench and intercepted my path, but before he could stab me, Joe arrived. His knife clashed with the chief’s sword, and they locked in a sweaty standstill. Joe was all that stood between me and death.

“Stand down, Enza,” Token growled. “You’re my best man.”

“Not anymore.” Joe disengaged, flicking the dagger backward over his head. It barely missed me.  “She’s my best assistant.”

Crack.

I turned, then gasped. The blade had hit the fish tank behind us. The glass exploded outward and surged toward us.

The wave swept everyone off their feet. At the touch of the water, my land legs snapped back together, green scales fused, and my fin returned. Glass shards grazed my arms.

“Joe?” I scanned the torrent.

There! Clinging to the stone bench, he met my gaze and nodded. With a final slap of my tail, I powered forward, letting the water carry me over the fence and into the lake.

Thanks, Joe. Next time, I wouldn’t ditch him.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Elizabeth Anne Hale is an entrepreneurial young writer who brings stories to life any way she can, whether it’s by talking, painting, or writing. She writes hopeful and humorous stories with the goal of encouraging and entertaining young people without “dark and spicy” content. She’s an Author Conservatory student who spends her free time reading, feeding her never-satisfied guinea pigs, and trying to keep that one Chaotic Neutral character from running away with the plot.