The Stolen Kiss

By Rachel Dib

I assume you’ve heard of the princess and the frog: a darling meet-cute about a prince transformed into a frog by an evil witch, and the princess who saved him with a kiss. Such a romantic story—and a complete lie.

While a witch was involved, she wasn’t evil. Galavia had been hired by our father, King Lionel, to perform the transformations.

Did you catch the plural usage there? That’s right. Two of us were changed into amphibians that day: my brother, Prince Ziro, into a bullfrog, and myself, Prince Niro, into a salamander.

You see, Ziro and I were identical twins. In fact, we looked so much alike that soon after our birth, the nursemaids confused who was who. Eventually, our parents renamed us, but the question of which twin had been born first—claiming the title “heir to the throne”—remained a mystery. Therefore, our father orchestrated a competition meant to determine which twin was worthy of the title.

This competition started immediately. Who walked first? Ziro. Who talked first? Me. Who was best at horseback riding? Ziro. Who could calculate the square root of pi? Me. And so on. It quickly became apparent that Ziro won anything physically demanding, while I dominated the intellectual fields.

Therefore, when we arrived at a suitable marrying age, our father conducted the ultimate challenge: who could woo a young lady first. He didn’t want the test to be too easy—we were princes after all—so he hired a witch to turn us into amphibians. The first one to steal a kiss won the title of heir to the throne. And the loser, well, he remained an amphibian. Couldn’t have a disgruntled look-a-like running around seeking revenge. The underachiever would still receive royal perks, like proper food and lodging. He’d just be hidden away from public eye.

So, we were both transformed and dropped into the castle’s courtyard fountain. Where we waited. And waited. Then waited some more.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t think anyone expected the test to take so long. Especially me. I mean, what young lady wouldn’t want to kiss a salamander? Sure, I was slimy, but at least I was cute. I even had a dapper pattern: black with blue spots. If a girl walked by, I doubted I’d have much trouble wooing her. Ziro, on the other hand, was green, bumpy, and bloated—completely unattractive.

The problem was Ziro knew this, too. Before I could receive any attention, he knocked me in the fountain and held me under water until potential suitors had passed. Ziro decided if he couldn’t win, neither of us would. Since he was stronger, I couldn’t do anything about it.

Soon spring turned into summer. By July, the days had grown quite warm, and with the heat came the bugs. While the thought of eating insects made me squeamish, Ziro developed an affinity for them.

“Tastes like chicken.”

I stuck out my tongue. “I doubt that. I’ll wait until Orlanzo brings real chicken tonight.”

“Orlanzo.” Ziro sneered. “You may be smart, but you have no survival skills.”

“I could fend for myself if need be.”

Ziro rolled his eyes. “Sure you could.” He stilled. His eyes focused on a cricket. Then he lunged.

As Ziro gulped down the insect, I turned away, trying not to gag.

“You’re missing out,” Ziro said and hopped away, probably in search of more bugs.

Just as he disappeared around the corner of the fountain, I felt a presence behind me. Slowly, I turned—to find an auburn-haired young lady dressed in a green frock that matched her eyes, staring intently down at me.

“I was hoping to find you alone.”

My mouth fell open.

She leaned closer and whispered, “I’m Lira, one of your mother’s ladies-in-waiting. She sent me to find you.”

I tilted my head.

As if sensing my curiosity, Lira continued. “Your mother believes this contest has gone on for long enough. Since she thought I’d make a suitable match for one of her sons, she asked me whether I preferred brains or brawn. When I said, ‘Brains, of course,’ she told me to kiss the salamander dwelling in the courtyard fountain.”

The young lady chuckled to herself. “I thought she was mad. But then she explained your predicament.” Lira sunk down beside me. “I had wondered why you princes had disappeared. Many rumors circulated around court, but no one knew for certain. King Lionel was reticent on the matter.”

Lira bit her lip. “We must keep this rendezvous a secret. Your father will be furious if he discovers your mother’s deceit. She didn’t even reveal her plan to me until we were concealed within a bathroom closet during the dead of night.”

With a quiet sigh, she smoothed her skirts and then laid her hand down beside me.

She was nervous. I could tell by the slight tremor of her fingers.

“If you are in agreement, I will kiss you now.”

Nodding, I gently climbed into her hand. I was never so aware of how slimy I was until my mucus-infused skin touched hers, and it grated like sandpaper. Lira didn’t complain, though.

As she slowly lifted me toward her pursed lips, I closed my eyes, my heart beating rapidly—then something hard struck me from the side, and I plopped into the fountain. I rose to the surface just in time to see Ziro receive my kiss.

Within seconds, he was restored to his human state, Lira oblivious to the switch. With a haughty glance in my direction, he took Lira’s arm and led her toward the castle.

From that stolen kiss, the “Princess and the Frog” story was born, and my own forgotten—unless I can find the witch. She may not be able to restore my humanity, but perhaps she can help me in some other way. Because Ziro was wrong. I can fend for myself. And I don’t need to look like him to exact revenge.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rachel Dib is a stay-at-home mom of three small children. After marrying a soldier, she left her home state of South Carolina to live in random places across the United States. Her short fiction appears in anthologies published by Havok Publishing, Ye Olde Dragon Books, Iron Faerie Publishing, Brigids Gate Press, and The Last Line literary journal. She also was awarded Havok’s “Most Prolific Author” for 2022 and 2023.

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