Caught Pink Handed

By Selina Lavery

Nibbs lifted his Medula Inc. mug to his thinning mustache and sighed as the tangy notes enveloped him.

Ivy stuck her head around the cubicle wall. “I wouldn’t drink that. Puck’s been messing with the sugar again.”

Nibbs pursed his lips. He’d had it with that imp.

“I just took Madam Medula her morning mocha, and… let’s just say I better update my resume.” Ivy shuddered.

Nibbs rubbed his temples. With Medula threatening job cuts, this was all he needed. “You better speak to Puck again.”

“I did! But he just laughed and told me to lighten up.”

“We’ve got the Health and Safety inspector coming—”

“I know, I told him.”

Nibbs’s eyes bugged. “You told Puck?”

Ivy paled.

“Great.” Nibbs flung up his arms. “I’m telling you, he’s got it in for me, and he knows Medula will shrink my head if I mess up another Health and Safety audit.”

Ivy fiddled with a stapler. “I could transfer him to another facility?”

“What? Medula’s precious nephew?” Nibbs snorted. “Anyway, there’s not enough time. They’ve already visited Chuck’s Chocolate Factory. I’m betting we’re their next stop.”

Nibbs wrung his hands. “I just hope we don’t get Volkov.”

At that moment, Madam Medula’s green face popped up on his computer screen.

Nibbs adjusted his bowtie. “Ma’am?”

“Verna Volkov will arrive in three hours.”

Nibbs’s stomach dropped.

“I don’t want any foul-ups this time, or on your head be it.” The monitor shook with each booming word.

Nibbs gulped. “Yes, ma’am.”

Medula’s eyes flashed like burning coals from the depths of the Abyss. Her image blinked out.

Nibbs slumped in his chair. A chortle from across the office made him turn. Puck.

A vein throbbed in Nibbs’s temple as he contemplated throttling the prankster. He glowered as the office imp rocketed off with a flap of his leathery wings.

“I think I’m having a panic attack.” Nibbs pulled at his shirt collar.

Ivy patted his shoulder. “I’ll track Puck down and send him on the lunch run. You know how he loves to mess with everyone’s orders.”

Nibbs handed her a walkie-talkie. “If you find him, let me know.”

Thirty minutes of knee-bouncing later, Ivy still hadn’t located Puck. Nibbs dashed from his desk and hurried to the Potions Area. The little twerp was hiding, and Nibbs would bet his great-grandfather’s wizarding hat that he was there.

He climbed the metal stairs leading to the Potions Area, carefully scanning the shadows, and spotted a flash of yellow at the last second—a banana skin on the top step.

Nibbs rolled his eyes. That’s lame even for you, Puck. But you must be close.

Nibbs combed the area, but came up empty. Tugging at his mustache, he looked up at the wall clock. Time was running out. A security camera rotated nearby.

Of course!

Dashing downstairs and through a maze of corridors, Nibbs arrived at the empty security room. A wall of surveillance screens shone back at him, and a powerful stench hung in the air.

Nibbs grimaced. Another one of Puck’s pranks. But where is he?

Nibbs squinted at the grainy images and noticed movement in Medula’s Potion Room #1. His gaze zeroed in on a pair of leathery wings. Bingo!

Something shifted on the next screen. Nibbs’s triumph faded. Verna Volkov was in the main foyer. She shrugged into a high-visibility jacket, then primped her blond beehive in the large mirror.

Nibbs grappled for his walkie-talkie. “Ivy!”

White noise crackled.

Sweat beaded under his collar. He tried again. “Ivy, she’s here! Do you copy?”

More crackly noise and then, “Copy, boss, but I’ve got a problem.”

What more could go wrong?

“You’ll need to spring me from the storage room.”

The storage room door opened with a groan, the door handle slippery with pungent gloop. Nibbs wiped his hand on the adjacent wall.

Ivy emerged from the shadows, doused in slime. She held up a hand. “Don’t ask.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I was too busy cleaning up this mess.”

Nibbs shook his head, close to hyperventilating. “Puck locked you in here so he could set a trap in the potions lab.”

Ivy’s eyes flashed with vengeance. “I’ll check it out. You stall the inspector.”

Three excruciating hours later, the inspector had one last stop on her rounds—Medula’s Potion Room #1.

With no word from Ivy, Nibbs worried at his mustache as he and Verna approached the swinging doors, both donning plastic caps to protect their hair.

Mist billowed into the hall as Nibbs opened the door for Verna.

Three vats towered in the middle of the room. While Verna wandered over to inspect the bubbling concoctions, Nibbs squinted through the vapor, looking for anything suspicious. He groaned inwardly. Another banana peel poked out from the cabinets.

Verna would classify that as a health and safety issue; there was strictly no food or drink allowed in this area, and certainly no tripping hazards.

Like a crab on a chopping board, Nibbs scuttled over and whisked up the incriminating object. A fine powder peppered the peel. It stuck to his palms, turning them pink. Nibbs frowned. Puck wouldn’t cause all this chaos for a simple banana peel prank.

 “I have seen much improvement.” Verna tapped a long fingernail to her clipboard as they wandered back to the main foyer. “I’ll send you my report. Keep up the good work.”

Nibbs beamed as Verna handed her high-visibility jacket to the receptionist.

She paused and chuckled, pulling off her plastic hair covering. “Mustn’t forget this.”

Nibbs gasped and just about swallowed his tongue.

“What’s wrong?” Verna touched her hair self-consciously.

Nibbs’s eyes bulged as he gaped. Verna paled and darted for the mirror. A shrill shriek erupted in the foyer.

Nibbs looked down at his trembling hands. They were the same flamingo pink as the dye used for love potions—the same color as Verna’s hair.

I’m going to kill that imp. Nibbs seethed. Right after Medula’s finished shrinking my head.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Selina Lavery is an Irn Bru guzzling mum-of-two. She lives in a Scottish seaside town with her husband, kids and two cats. She has always loved writing but is even better at procrastinating. When she’s not out scouring the beach for sea-glass, she can usually be found with her nose in a book and a coffee in hand.

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