By Nathan Veyon
“Come on, try one.” Sal popped a blue strawberry into his mouth.
Jane examined one. “They’re blue. Strawberries are supposed to be red.”
“I know, but my second… no, third cousin Fragar likes to experiment.” Sal took the upcoming exit. “Be adventurous.”
Jane dropped the fruit back into the basket. “I’m not eating an experiment. And how are you always distantly related to someone?”
“Big family tree… literally!” Sal howled at his own joke, beating the steering wheel so hard he nearly swerved into oncoming traffic.
Jane cleaned her glasses until Sal calmed down. “You know, being a dryad doesn’t automatically make you funny.”
“Oh come on, that was a good one. Maybe it’s humans that have no sense of humor.” Sal pulled into the motel parking lot. “Maybe you’re just pining to be more like me.”
Jane jumped out of the van to escape her partner’s cackles. The lobby’s automatic doors whooshed open.
A middle-aged receptionist sat at the desk. “Hi, do you have a reservation?”
“No, we’re looking for two rooms for the night.” Jane pulled out her business credit card.
“We?”
“My partner—” The automatic door opened again.
“Jane, dearest.” Sal sauntered in. “Your toiletry bag may have slipped and might have dumped everything.”
“My work partner and I,” Jane scowled. “Here’s my card.” She turned to Sal. “Finish up here and make sure to save the receipt this time.” She marched past him back to the van.
Sal laughed. “From the smell I’d say you were really branching—” The doors saved Jane from his attempt at humor.
As promised, her bag was upside down casting a long shadow on the cool pavement, but most of the contents hadn’t gone far. She was scooping up the last of it when Sal returned.
“Here’s your card and room key. And your receipt.”
“Sal, listen.” Jane grabbed her suitcase. “Tomorrow our work is going to be reviewed by the bureau. Please try taking it seriously.” She dragged her luggage towards the rooms.
“Don’t worry, Jane,” Sal called after her. “People love me. We’ll do fine!”
They drove to the field office under a gray, overcast sky. A female centaur greeted them when they walked in. “Welcome to the Federal Bureau of Anomalous Occurrences. Are you the team here for your annual review?”
They nodded.
“Great, they’ve been expecting you. Sal is it? Go through that door.” She glanced at her desk. “And Jane, head down the hall, first door on the left.”
“I thought they reviewed our performance as a team,” Jane whispered.
Sal looked uncharacteristically somber. He walked to his door without responding.
Jane stood alone in the foyer, staring at the closed door. The centaur nodded encouragingly. Jane attempted a smile, walked down the hallway, and opened the door on the left. Inside the small conference room, a man and woman in matching uniforms sat behind a table.
The woman looked up from a notebook. “Hello, Jane. My name is Bailey. Take a seat.” She looked too young for her beautiful, silver-grey hair. Werewolf. Jane drew up a chair. Note to self: don’t say, “Fetch.”
The man nodded at her. He might have actually been human. “I’m Marco. Let’s get started.” He flipped a few pages. “My partner and I have reviewed your work. We’re pleased with how quickly you have adapted to the world of wilderkind. Your records are thorough, and you are doing an excellent job.”
“Thank you.” The knots in Jane’s stomach refused to relax. This is all too positive.
Bailey spoke. “Based on your accomplishments, we’re considering moving you to a more veteran unit. You would have a new partner and work with particularly difficult wilderkind cases.”
Jane cleared her throat. “What about Sal?”
“What about him?” Marco flipped a page. “Our reports show several occasions where he has left you, the junior agent, without proper debriefing, dragged you into an unsanctioned operation, or otherwise breached protocol. You’ve also had to save his life on at least one occasion.”
Bailey spoke up, “You’ve been with Sal longer than anyone. Most of his partners ask for reassignment. It is to your credit that you’re not easily deterred, but we have ample evidence that he’s difficult to work with. We don’t want to squander your talents.”
Jane fiddled with her glasses. “Well yes, he can be annoying. But we do good work. And Sal, well… He’s Sal. He is a good agent. I’ve learned a lot from him.” Jane sat up straighter. “I’d be happy to work on more serious cases. But I don’t mind having Sal as a partner. I feel we can handle those advanced cases as a team.”
Bailey hummed noncommittally. “Return to the foyer while we make a decision.”
Jane walked out and sat down. Ten minutes later, a morose Sal slumped into a chair across from her. He stared at the carpet.
Jane removed her glasses and scrubbed away at unseen smudges.
“Excuse me.” The centaur stood over them with a blue folder. “I was told to give you this. It’s your next assignment as a team.”
Sal jumped like he’d been shocked and grabbed the proffered folder. “Thanks!” He practically skipped to the van. Jane followed him out and climbed in.
Sal looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “They told me that they gave you the option to leave.”
“Leave? Sal don’t start again.”
“What?”
“The tree puns.”
His tone was serious “No, I mean thanks for sticking with me. Really.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Fine, just don’t get all sappy on me.”
Sal choked slightly. He opened his mouth, then shut it.
Jane grabbed a strawberry from the basket and took a bite. “Hmm, not bad. You know you were getting pretty blue at the FBAO office.”
Sal just kept driving.
Smiling at the silence, Jane took another bite.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cute! Love all the puns and Jane’s willingness to stick with Sal. (Pun intended.)
A nicely syrupy ending! I look forward to reading about their new case…
Cute story. :)