By Michael Erasmus
Birds sing joyous melodies in the courtyard outside my window. A fine day for a wedding! It’s a shame our beloved king’s betrothed wants him dead.
Feet scurry through the palace hallways, and nervous voices bounce off the walls as servants rush about making preparations. If only they knew the truth.
But I know. I overheard the elven princess’s aides discuss her plan this morning. Those fools thought their language was secret in these halls. No matter; as High Wizard of the realm, I’ve stopped worse threats.
I tilt the vial of precious dragon blood until a single drop plops into the silver goblet, clouding through my clear blue concoction of faerie dust and troll saliva. I swirl the goblet, watching the mixture turn red as wine.
Easy! My truth potion is complete. Well, almost. In its current state, it reeks of putrid death and will taste even worse.
I dip a finger into the liquid and tap into the familiar well of magic deep inside me. A practiced incantation bubbles off my tongue like water from a brook, and tendrils of energy rise from my chest, crackle through my arms, and tickle my fingertips.
The stench sweetens to the rich, tannic fruitiness of wine. Excellent.
Goblet in hand, I leave the room and make my way to the kitchen. As expected, I find a young girl helping the cooks prepare a feast. She’s one of the few servants allowed into the bride’s chambers, and the only one I trust.
“Merrium.” I pull her aside. The head chef scowls but knows better than to object. “Take this to Princess Niida.” I push the goblet into her hands. “Tell her the wedding planners sent it to calm her nerves.”
“Yes, Master Arjax.”
As she scurries away, I call after her. “Oh, and give her my congratulations!”
Good. When the princess stands before the king and his guests, her loose tongue will confess everything. My plan is foolproof, really.
Now to reach the chapel. As I hurry there, I glance at my knotty, gray beard sprawling over grease-stained robes and remember King Byron’s command to “look good for once.” With a click of my fingers and a surge of power, a clever illusion straightens my beard and hides every stain.
Arjax, your genius is historic. Not even hygiene can stand against you.
Guests wait outside the chapel when I arrive. Ignoring their blarneying greetings, I enter the venue. A servant stands ready at the doors, waiting for the command to let in the guests. “Where is His Majesty?” I ask. King Byron should’ve been here by now.
As if on cue, applause erupts outside as the young king makes his way through the crowd. When he nears the doors, I hear his booming voice. “Why, thank you, Sir Gizzly! I dare say you’ve aged, and not finely. Like wrinkly parchment.”
What a rude king I serve.
He enters the chapel and grins when he sees me. “Well, well, well! If it isn’t the magic man.”
His voice is too loud, too giddy. “My lord?”
He lays a hand on my shoulder and cocks his head. “I really don’t like you.”
How impudent! How utterly—
Merrium pokes her head through the doorway. “Master Arjax?” She steps in, eyes wide.
I frown. “What’s going on?”
Her voice quivers. “I—I took the wine to the princess, as you asked. She sniffed the goblet, then ordered me to take it to King Byron instead.”
Oh, blithering bother! I wave the girl away, and she darts out.
As King Byron and I follow the red carpet to the front, my mind rushes through possibilities. I could accuse the princess when she arrives, but who would believe me? Even the great and powerful Arjax needs proof for such a claim. And I can’t appeal to Byron in his current state, nor do I have time to brew an antidote.
“I want to raise taxes for librarians,” mutters Byron. “Who do they think they are, ordering my people to be silent?”
I sigh. “Agreed.“
“Your beard looks fake.”
If he’s being honest, I might as well too. “It’s an illusion.”
Minutes pass, but no ideas come. My heart sinks when the palace bells ring. The servant directs the guests in, and they swarm the pews like excited children. The bride approaches.
It’s okay. I have enough ingredients for another potion. With crafty illusions, I should be able to swap out her goblet during the feast later.
If Byron makes it that far.
“This is wrong of me,” he says.
I pat his arm. “You’re forging peace between humans and elves. Yours is an honorable decision, my king.”
“No, I—”
Trumpets blare, and two lasses enter, scattering rose petals in their wake. Princess Niida follows. An emerald gown hugs her tall, slender form. The only jewelry she wears is an elegant diadem atop her earthy-brown locks.
She stops before the king and me, curtseying in the human fashion. A strong scent of pine needles and forest air tickles my nose. “Good day, lords.” When she straightens, her slanted amber eyes meet mine, piercing and bold. She winks.
I clear my throat. “Ladies, gentlemen, a momentous betrothal is upon us. Let’s begins with the vows, shall we?”
Annoyed murmurs whisper among the audience. I don’t care. There’s no time for tedious speeches; I must get back to my chambers. “King Byron, shall I recite yours on your behalf?”
He scowls at me. “No!” Then he takes the princess’s hands and stares into her eyes.
I gulp. Let’s see how much embarrassment the truth potion can cause.
“Elf, you are pretty,” he begins. “Yet I intend to kill you.”
The crowd gasps. My heart freezes.
Apparently even my genius has its limits…
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ha. They make quite the pair, don’t they?
That was a great ending. I was sure he was going to say something that would break them up but wasn’t expecting that. Ha ha.
Whoa! I thought the internal commentary on this wizard was fabulous. Loved it!
Excellent twist at the end! Loved it!
Loved the wizard’s narrative voice—so fun! I’d love to read a sequel!
Hilarious! I’d love to read more of Arjax’s adventures as the High Wizard. He has such a distinct voice
In spite of the intentions of these two, this made me chuckle. Well done! A delightful wacky Wednesday.
“Not even hygiene can stand against you.” XD AND I SAW WHAT YOU DID. YOU USED BLITHERING BOTHER. 😁 Marit and I are proud. 😉 nice job with the twists!!
That made me laugh a lot! I have to know what happens next!
What a wonderful romp! This was so entertaining. I LOVED it.