By Luca Nobleman
“Why are you soaking wet?”
Scamper reeled back from his best friend, HearSay, to avoid the shower as the awkward, towering droid dripped water from the ragged trench coat draped on his thin frame. HearSay brandished three glimmering fish impaled on his makeshift spear for Scamper to inspect.
“You soaking wet wet wet,” HearSay replied.
Though HearSay’s words sounded like nothing more than empty repetition, the two droids had been together since before his speech had been scrambled. Scamper knew HearSay’s sacrifice had secured his freedom nearly a century ago, so he had learned to read the altered tones and cadence of his friend’s words.
“Clearly, you’ve been fishing.” Scamper scooted farther away as a puddle formed at their feet. Scamper turned to the cylindrical device he had been working on, retrieved a wire from his small, boxy frame, and soldered it to the end of the device. “Careful, you’re going to get my new frequency detector wet.”
Grinding droid? Why is he always trying to be human?
“You’re about to ruin all our belongings.” Scamper waved his hand over an assemblage of odds and ends piled high atop an overturned truck hood. “Why were you fishing anyway? We’re droids. We don’t eat.”
“We don’t don’t eat eat eat.” HearSay slipped the dead fish from the spear into his coat pocket, as though he were a squirrel stashing walnuts for a feigned future famine.
“They’re for your friends? What friends? I’m your only friend.”
“You’re your only friend, friend.” HearSay wrung out the end of his trench coat.
“A raccoon and some crows?” Scamper hurled the device into the pile. “Animals can’t be your friends. Do you remember what that moose did to our camp last summer?” He leaned down, grabbed two long bars welded to the truck hood, and dragged them behind him deeper into the woods. “It took me weeks to salvage this. And anyway, I saw a scouting drone earlier. We can’t stay here any longer.”
HearSay shrugged and followed.
“Remember our rules?” Scamper said. “Avoid humans. Avoid killer bots. Stay hidden. Stay bored.”
“Stay bored bored bored.”
“What could it hurt to be friends with animals?” Scamper stopped. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because their heat signatures attract drones.”
HearSay was silent.
Grinding droid, wouldn’t survive a day without me.
Scamper shook his head and resumed lugging the repurposed hood.
After an hour, Scamper broke the silence. “Why are you so quiet back there?” He glanced back, then stopped in his tracks.
His mouth, if he possessed one, would have been agape. HearSay hadn’t heard the question. He was too busy feeding fish to two crows, one perched on each shoulder. And to top it off, a plump raccoon rested on the truck hood Scamper was towing, chowing down more fish.
At Scamper’s sudden stop, the small group of scavengers looked up. Surprise filled their eyes. The raccoon sheepishly held up the half-eaten fish carcass as an offering to Scamper.
Scamper dropped the hood and stormed over to HearSay. He yanked the fish from HearSay’s hand and chucked it into the woods, then kicked the taller droid’s shin and pointed a fierce finger at the raccoon. “Shoo,” he demanded. “Go away!”
The raccoon blinked lazily and turned to HearSay, as if to ascertain the taller droid’s opinion. The birds idly pruned their feathers.
“HearSay, are you crazy? Tell these animals to go away. Their heat signatures are going to get us caught.”
“Going to to get us us caught caught,” HearSay pleaded.
“I don’t care,” Scamper said. “I’ve been your friend for a lot longer. Who do you care about more, me or them?”
HearSay shrugged. “Me or them them.”
“No, it’s not a tough question,” Scamper said. “Just tell them to go.”
HearSay emitted a reluctant chirping sound.
The animals’ ears perked up, but then drooped at the news.
The disheartened droid lifted a finger and nuzzled the beak of each bird. A fond farewell.
The crows flew off, squawking mournfully. The raccoon hugged HearSay’s leg. HearSay patted the creature’s head. After a prolonged goodbye, it slunk into the bushes.
“There,” Scamper said proudly, “not so bad, was it?”
HearSay lowered his head and trudged on.
Scamper lifted the truck hood and followed. “It’s for your own good,” he said. “It’s not natural for droids and animals to—”
A monumental spider-like machine emerged from behind a massive oak, cutting Scamper short. Its black metal body shimmered with red lights, and its glowing sensors bore down on the two droids.
They halted and stared up at the drone.
“Ash and ore,” Scamper swore.
“And ore ore,” HearSay agreed.
The mechanical chimera lifted one of its legs, its sharp tip aimed directly at Scamper. Then, with a sickening winding of gears, it struck.
Scamper dropped the truck hood, covered his eyes, and braced for impact.
But… nothing came—no destruction of his circuit board. No piercing. No dismemberment.
He slowly lowered his hands. What met him was pure disbelief. Utter madness.
The drone was flailing—striving to remove a crazed raccoon gripping the pointed leg that had almost ended Scamper’s existence. At the same time, two black crows clung to the drone’s head, hammering their beaks into its glowing red sensors, rendering the monster blind.
The drone spun around in circles, confused at the zoological onslaught—like a bear fighting a swarm of bees.
The raccoon scrambled up its leg, then climbed along the drone’s underbelly. Reaching inside, the furry creature began ripping and gnawing at its cords. Within seconds, the drone stumbled, glitched, and then, with one last mechanical scream, plummeted to the ground—a heaping mess of powerless metal.
The raccoon leaped off the dead drone, then lumbered toward HearSay, trailed by two crows. HearSay retrieved a slimy fish head from his trench coat as a reward.
“Ash and ore ore ore?” HearSay asked smugly.
“Um… yeah,” Scamper said. “I suppose you’re right. Animals and droids can be friends.”
Rate this story:
(0 votes, average: 0.00 out of 3)
You need to be a registered member to rate this.
Loading...ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tell us your thoughts!