By Lisa Timpf
“It’s dangerous to stay here.” Lili gazed at me with red-brown eyes. “We should go.”
Leave the comfort of Steve and Talia’s house? I had to calm Lili’s fears before she ruined the good thing we had going.
“We’re house flies,” I protested. “If we weren’t meant to live in houses, why call us that? Besides, there’s a hole in the back screen door. We can leave anytime we like.”
“C’mon, Pillar,” my wife pleaded. “Steve and Talia—”
“They barely notice us,” I said.
“Barely notice! What about last night, when you sipped spilled beer from the end table right beside Steve?”
“His attention was on the ball game.”
“You like living here.” Lili’s tone made it sound like a bad thing.
“It’s dry. There’s food. There’s no birds. And the TV—I saw you swooning over Tom Cruise.”
“What, Top Gun? Don’t be ridiculous. I admired his flying skills. Besides, you’re one to talk.”
“Fine, I dug Maverick’s moves, too. Is that a crime?” I rolled my eyes—and glimpsed something that made me freeze in place. “Steve,” I mumbled. He was staring straight at Lili from his armchair. “You’re right. Let’s get out of here. Wait by the screen door. I’ll throw Steve off the scent, then join you.”
Mustering my courage, I zoomed toward Steve and landed on his nose to ensure I had his full attention. Evading his swiping hand was ridiculously easy—flies can process visual stimuli seven times faster than humans, which made his moves seem as if they were in slo-mo.
“Talia! Where’s that flyswatter?”
You don’t have to shout, buddy. She’s not deaf.
“Try the closet.” Talia’s voice echoed from down the hall.
I should have tried to escape while Steve plodded off to arm himself. Instead, I got caught up in the competition, mano a flyo.
When Steve came back into the room, I dove toward the dining room table, then skimmed parallel to the surface. I feel the need. The need for—
Whack! A draft of air displaced by the flyswatter threw me off-course. That was a close one.
“Don’t tell me you’re hitting the table with that dirty thing!” Talia shouted in her don’t-make-me-come-out-there voice.
“Okay, I won’t tell you,” Steve whispered.
I flitted to the end table. When I leapt into the air, I figured that Steve would swat at where I’d been, not where I was going.
Wrong. He’d gotten smart. Didn’t see that coming. The swatter clipped my right wing. I plummeted to the floor.
“Idiot.” Lili landed in front of me. “Follow me.” She led the way under the nearest armchair.
Doing my best to ignore the pain from where my wing met my body, I followed her. You’d think they could dust under here once in a while. I fought the urge to sneeze. Oh, look, a crumb.
Steve’s feet appeared in front of the chair. I held my breath until he padded away.
“Now I’m ready to blow this place.” I paused. “Why aren’t you waiting at the door?”
“I checked the screen. Somebody patched the hole.”
“What?”
“There’s no way out. We’re stuck.”
It’s funny how quickly a haven can turn into a prison. I looked around the living room, eyeing all the things that once enamored me. The big screen TV. The crumbs scattered about so carelessly.
“There must be a way.” Knowing this was partly my fault for insisting we overstay our welcome only darkened my mood. My bravado evaporated like dew on a summer day. “Could we ride out in the kitchen trash?”
“They tie the bags shut.”
“Maybe catch a lift on the bag?”
“Can’t risk being seen.”
I brooded quietly. Steve must have an Achilles heel, a vulnerability. But what?
And then, it came to me.
He and I share a weakness—oversized egos.
I can work with that.
“Go to the back door,” I said. “Watch for your chance.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Better if I don’t say.”
“Have I told you lately that I love you?”
“And I’ve loved you, since the first time I—” It wouldn’t be fair to say since I laid eyes on her, since my vision’s kind of blurry. “Since I first smelled your pheromones. Now, get going. I’ll give you five seconds.”
Lili flew away.
One tiger swallowtail, two tiger swallowtails . . .
I gave it one extra, just to be sure.
***
I perched on the table, aware of my exposed position.
“There he is.” Steve took a step closer.
Now, I just hoped he wouldn’t dare use the flyswatter again, after Talia’s admonition.
I saw Steve’s hand moving toward me from behind.
Doesn’t he realize I have 360-degree vision?
“Gotcha!” Steve’s hand closed over me and scooped me up, his fist forming a loose pocket.
I heard footsteps as Talia entered the room. “You expect me to believe you caught a fly? You know how quick they are, right?”
“I’ll show you.”
“Not in here! Let’s go on the back porch.”
Despite the complete and utter darkness, I sensed motion. I heard the screen door click shut behind us.
Steve opened his hand. “See?”
Fresh air never smelled so good.
I stayed in place long enough to give Steve his moment of glory, then leapt away. I landed on the handrail, then scuttled to hide under it. My wing felt better, and I’d have to test it out soon, but I’d prefer not to have an audience.
“Gone for good, I hope.” Talia’s words hummed with warning.
After Steve and Talia retreated into the house, I stayed put, enjoying the fresh air.
A fly landed in front of me. Lili’s big red-brown eyes loomed in my vision. “Hey, stranger. Ready to go?”
“Show me the way home.” I paused. “Wait. We don’t have a home.”
“Wherever you are, that’s my home.”
“That’s sweet. But hey, I was thinking, there’s a nice-looking brown brick bungalow down the street…”
“Not a chance.”
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