By Elizabeth Jane Shelton

Martha scanned the pews as she entered the sanctuary, one hand slipping almost unconsciously into her bag. Her fingers brushed the spines of two books, one as thick as her fist and one as thin as a pencil. The thick one was, of course, her Bible.

The thin one? The Good Christian Girl’s Guide to Flirting in Church.

Martha’s heart sank. She didn’t see Jeremy. How was she going to follow Step Two of the Guide—Sit next to him during the service—if he wasn’t even here? Step One had already made her miss the first hymn; Dress to represent your inner beauty became a fashion marathon when she found a run in her pantyhose as wide as the Grand Canyon, ruining half of her acceptable outfits. The Guide made it clear that her outfit shouldn’t distract others, and she’d been an anxious puddle trying to determine what counted as “distracting.”

Part of Martha felt her tardiness was a sure sign that she should abandon her plan altogether, but she only saw Jeremy at church, and at twenty-eight, she was tired of being single.

Surely there could be a holy way to flirt?

Martha sighed, giving up and sitting with Kristin, who glanced up from her hymnal as Martha slid into the pew. “Hey! You look cute this morning.”

“Thanks.” At least someone noticed.

Martha set her purse on the floor and pulled out a hymnal, joining in singing “How Great Thou Art,” but only got through one verse before a familiar presence slid into the last space in the pew. Martha’s voice faltered when Jeremy grinned apologetically. “Sorry I’m late—I had a meeting about volunteering for Vacation Bible School.”

Of course he’d be late from something holier than a wardrobe malfunction.

But then his arm jostled hers as he reached for a hymnal, and hers crashed to the ground, drawing the eyes of half the congregation. “My bad!” he whispered, wincing. “Here, share with me instead.”

“Thanks.” Martha flushed, mortified. What kind of idiot dropped a hymnal because her crush touched her?

As Jeremy sang, Martha’s thoughts whirled. The Guide’s chapter on worship conduct was confusing at best. If she sang too loudly, she might disrupt his worship. Too quietly, and he might think she wasn’t enthusiastic enough. Would he be more impressed if she sang soprano or alto? If she closed her eyes or lifted her hands?

With her embarrassment, she’d be lucky if she could manage more than a squeak. Besides, should he even notice how she was worshipping, if he was supposed to be worshipping too?

When the sermon began, she retrieved her Bible, careful to leave the Guide deep in her purse. She itched to pull it out and consult it on what to do next, but if Jeremy saw, he’d laugh her out of the church. What kind of good Christian girl needed instructions on attracting a man?

Martha pulled out her pen and journal, but before she could write anything, Jeremy whispered, “Could I borrow a pen? I forgot mine.” He held up his notebook.

“Of course!” She handed it over, and Jeremy’s smile of thanks warmed Martha to her toes.

Unfortunately, that was her only pen. She always took notes to help her focus. And now Jeremy would think she wasn’t invested in the sermon! How could she have forgotten a backup?

Well. She’d heard more engaging sermons than “The Genealogy of Christ According to the Gospel of Matthew,” but if her pastor said Jehoshaphat was important, who was she to argue? She gritted her teeth and forced herself to pay attention, though soon her goal became just staying awake.

Then there was Communion. The only sacrament the Guide cared about was marriage, so Martha was on her own. Her silent prayers of confession alternated rapidly between O God, forgive me for my distraction and O God, let him like me.

As soon as the sermon ended, Martha stood and braced herself for Step Six. The Guide said post-service fellowship was the most crucial time for interacting, and she should have three goals: play dumb, bat her eyelashes, and laugh at everything he said.

“So, Jeremy.” Martha grinned and fluttered her eyelashes, hoping she came off as interested and not like she had a gnat in her eye. “VBS?”

“Yeah! It was so much fun as a kid, you know? Once we made papier-mâché lanterns with balloons and glue, and I couldn’t unstick my fingers for a week.”

Martha’s laughter was genuine.

Eventually the Guide moved to the back of her thoughts. Thinking about Jeremy was hard. Being with Jeremy had always been as easy as breathing. Guys like that didn’t come along every day.

“Hey, girl, I’ve got to run!” Kristin pushed past them, tripping over Martha’s purse and spilling its contents.

Including the Guide, which went skidding across the floor.

“Oh, here,” Jeremy said, bending down to help.

“Wait!” Martha cried, but Jeremy had already picked up the Guide, as well as her purse.

He froze, reading the title. Then he straightened. “This is yours?”

She was going to cry. Or faint. Or throw up. Could she do all three at once? Martha nodded, wishing she could cover her face and run, but he still had her purse with her car keys inside.

For a moment, Jeremy said nothing. Then he reached into his back pocket, pulled out a rolled-up booklet, and handed it to her. The Strong Christian Man’s Guide to Flirting in Church.

Martha looked up. Jeremy’s face was the color of a tomato. He coughed. “Would you, uh… like to get coffee with me sometime?”

Martha smiled shyly. “I’d love to. As long as you agree to forget you ever saw that book.”

“Ditto.” Jeremy laughed. “Sorry about your hymnal—my instructions were to share mine with you at all costs. To be honest, I’d kind of like to burn my Guide.”

“Maybe that can be our second date.”

He grinned. “Sounds perfect to me.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Elizabeth Jane Shelton has loved stories of every kind since she was young, although fantasy is her favorite. She strives to write stories that are both entertaining and meaningful, and she hopes to impact others and honor her Creator with her writing. If she’s not working on a story, it’s probably because she’s writing code at her job as a software engineer.

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