Havok Publishing

Humor

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A Fowl Afoul

I scrambled across the roof of the Royal Treasury Coop. Hopefully the City Guard wouldn’t spot me holding a squawking golden chicken above my head and assume the worst.
A metal hook clanged against the clay tiles just ahead. I dodged the attached rope and glanced back. Two gray-cloaked thugs pursued me.

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The Curious Conduct of Miss O’Reilly

“Blitzkrieg!” the parrot screeches, hopping from perch to perch inside the brass cage. “Blitzkrieg! Blitzkrieg!”
“If that parrot continues its intolerable squawking,” I say through clenched teeth, “I shall not be responsible for my actions.”
“Cheer up, Miss O’Reilly.” My fellow time travel agent chuckles. “Hernandez must like you a lot to send

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For the Love of Watermelon

On all the nine planets, there exists no creature more majestic than the mighty water buffalo. Resilient. Unflappable. And unpardonably cute when presented with a juicy slice of watermelon.
“Aren’t you the most darling girl? Yes.” Amelia cooed as she scratched the coarse hair between Mrs. Bates’s big dark eyes.
Bates paid

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Open Communication

“Thanks so much for watching Zeus on such short notice! You’re a lifesaver!”
Mark shrugged. “Well, you said I only had to sit and, like, watch TV with him, so…”
“Yeah, he won’t be any trouble.” Becca bent toward the cream-colored Himalayan curled up on the couch. She lifted his face between her palms

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The Mastermind

Vills climbed onto the bottom rung of the wooden fence and peered into the pen. “Willy, can you really understand what he’s sayin’?”
His older brother squatted, staring into the eyes of their piglet, Charleston. “Shhh. I gotta concentrate.”
Charleston snorted, squealed, and danced around in a circle.
Vills leaned his shoulders over the

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Super Gus Gets Name Checked

“When Super Guy is busy, call Super Gus!”
My purple-and-orange logo fades into a montage of my greatest work set to a dramatic score. To be fair, most of the guys I’m pummeling in the amateur cell phone videos are not actual villains but Justice Lounge drunks hoping to look tough by beating up

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Wizards and Kings

I look like a peacock in a lion’s den. My gaudy green robes swish across the smooth marble as I eye the four armored guards escorting us. We enter the throne room. I step behind Zofan, my mentor and fellow wizard, and twiddle my fingers.
The guards clomp to either side of King Roganvel’s

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Amber Eyes

Golden eyes arrested my attention as I boarded the train. Her every movement was grace-ful—gray paws swinging her suitcase, ears peeking through the top of her hat, eyes sparkling in the waning sunlight.
Then she tripped. And laughed to herself.
“Miss,” I called out as the whistle tweeted and the train whisked me

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I’ll Explain Later

Surrounded by shouting hagglers, I sweep my eyes over the market as we step into an abandoned tent. Back turned to the crowd, I rummage in my pack for the scroll. Passersby will only see a traveling swordsman and his student counting their coins before visiting the blacksmith’s booth.
“You’re my best student. Like

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Trust Issues

I don’t like Dycin.
It’s not the guide’s superior attitude that makes me dislike him either. He was raised by the Knowledge Keepers. Of course, he’s smarter than me. No. I dislike Dycin because despite his knowledge, he has no idea what he’s doing but presses on anyway. In fact, I suspect we’re lost.

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The Curse of Sternutation

Eat your pies and drink your ale and listen well to this story of wonder, of wooing, of weeping, of weddings, of woe—and of some sneezing.
Turnipton was a simple village. The residents preferred it that way. They grew their potatoes and milked their cows. They had their occasional celebration, but no adventures

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Father’s Blessing

When you plan to murder a monarch, the last creature you should ever tell is a tree.
Yes, every peasant child knows you can’t trust oaks, but I had to get the woods involved. You see, fae kings are notoriously bad at dying, and it would be unacceptable for a man of my station

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