Havok Publishing

Humor

The Seventh of July

So many humans seem to love their fairy tales more than their own world. They wish yourselves back to the days of knights and princesses, dragons and mermaids….
Well, this mermaid is happy to have progressed beyond that. I for one am delighted with the opportunities these modern times give. I’ve learned so much…

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Fast Food in Flames

“So, Aedan, I’d like you to take care of the place today. This will be an opportunity to get your feet wet managing the business.”
“What?” I glanced up from my phone, sipping my rapidly-melting milkshake. Uncle Johnny didn’t usually bother me on my lunch break.
He sighed. He looked frazzled, and his white hair stuck out at odd angles.

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Spitting Distance

Jerry squeezed his hands together, staring at a narrow strip of ground bordering Main Street. The year before, Reedville had added a watermelon seed-spitting contest in that very spot. Jerry had come in third. To Ma, it was just another loss. To Jerry? He’d felt amazed as he wiped off his chin.

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Eye on the Ball

“You’re Sam Luger, second baseman for the Carolina Reapers, right?” Dr. Frewer’s thick Texas accent preceded him into the examination room.
“That’s right.” I shifted nervously. People usually didn’t recognize me away from the ballpark.
Frewer smiled. “I suppose you think it’s a little weird that an optometrist called you, instead of…

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Weathering the Family Vacation

I stared out at the cold gray afternoon. Some summer holiday this was turning out to be. Spending the whole of June on a road trip through the French countryside had sounded idyllic when my parents suggested it. I’d expected to be frolicking in Alpine meadows with wildflowers in my hair like Heidi and swimming in gorgeous blue mountain lakes.

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In the Eye of the Beholder

There is one thing about having six ears: sometimes, you overhear comments that weren’t meant for you. Even though I was still snoozing on Hades’ bed, I heard Artemis addressing my master in the living room.
“Do you know what day it is?” I could picture the sly look on Artemis’ face as she posed the question.

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The Beheading Game

Every year, King Hearthsward hosted a grand Midsummer Feast at our royal court. There were games and challenges, boasts and feats of strength, and people traveled from many lands to partake in the celebrations. Even our enemies visited our table, emboldened by the oath of peace during festival-time. If you brought no trouble, none would find you.

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Stranger in a Stranger Land

The summer I first traveled to America, my father wore a red shirt so I could spot him in the crowds. Let’s just say that system doesn’t work if other people are wearing red shirts and you’re a five-year-old who can’t see above anyone’s butt.
As soon as we joined the mob in front of JFK to catch a cab, I got separated from Dad.

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Donuts & Dragons

“This is not what a raspberry donut should look like.” Maroon batter oozes all over my flour-dusted fingers and plops onto the kitchen floor. I grimace. “At least, not Grandma’s. Hers are perfection.”
Mossy’s tiny dragon wings shudder as he scratches at the deep pink goo clinging to his snout. He yelps and steps

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Limping Through the Apocalypse

When people warned us about the apocalypse, they never mentioned injuries. And I’m not talking about a zombie bite or breaking your legs or having a loose street sign fall and impale you while you’re trying to fish a Snickers bar out from the bottom of a drain… rest in peace, Donny.

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Superheroes are Messy

Superheroes are messy. You never hear about that in newspapers or online. It sure never comes up when they’re getting a medal from the president or having a school named after them. But man, saving the world is sloppy.
“Petey, you still ain’t done cleaning up that soot?” Randy called from behind me.

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Maternal Instinct

“It’s so cute!” Gloria cooed. She bent over the tiny, growling demon.
“That’s not a puppy, Gloria. You can’t keep it.” I glared at the ugly creature cowering behind my backyard shed. “Rip it apart like a good werewolf and send it back to Hell.” She ignored me. Crouching next to it, she extended her hand…

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