By Miriam Thor

Today was the day that Therrus would see a ghost. Or maybe Bigfoot. He hadn’t decided which one to look for first. Since coming to Earth two months ago, he’d heard humans voice a variety of opinions about creatures that may or may not exist.

To better understand this fascinating aspect of human culture, Therrus had decided to determine which, if any, of these beings were real. He’d compiled a list of every one he’d heard a human mention and researched them all. Today, he would begin the search.

But first, he was headed to a coffee shop. Since he’d set foot on Earth, Therrus had wanted to try the scintillating beverage. He’d avoided it due to the deadly effect caffeine had on his species, but he’d just learned that shops sold decaffeinated coffee. Which, of course, meant it would contain no trace of caffeine. Perfect! He couldn’t think of a better way to begin a search for Earth’s mythological beings than by drinking humans’ favorite beverage.

His supervisor had advised that this search was a pointless endeavor, but Therrus firmly disagreed. In fact, he’d already checked the most commonly mentioned creature off his list. Aliens.

Humans were divided on the issue of extraterrestrial life, and yet, here was Therrus, the genuine newspaper. Or was it the genuine article? Magazine? Human idioms were confusing, and English had a lot of them.

Anyway, Therrus was living proof that one of the creatures from his list existed. So, why not more? Discovering which of these beings were real and which were products of human imagination would give him great insight into the human psyche. Plus, searching for them would be a fun… no, informative experience.

When he reached the coffee shop, Therrus studied his reflection in the window. Luke James, intrepid explorer, stared back at him. Satisfied that his holoprojector was still working properly, he went inside.

Therrus joined the queue and human-watched until it was his turn to order. Stepping up to the counter, he surveyed the woman at the register. She had graying red hair and a name tag that said “Angel.” His eyes nearly popped out of his head. He blinked to make sure they stayed put.

“You’re an angel?” he asked.

Angels were one of the creatures on his list. He’d thought they would be harder to find, but, somehow, he’d stumbled upon one. Maybe his search would be easier than he’d thought.

“Like that’s the first time I’ve heard that one.” She sighed. “What can I get you?”

“A decaffeinated coffee, please.”

As she pressed buttons on her register, he whispered, “Are you really an angel? Can you tell me?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, I’m an angel, and you’re King Tut. That’ll be four sixty-five.”

Pulling the appropriate human payment from his pocket, Therrus contemplated her answer. As he waited for his order, he concluded she must have been using sarcasm, a manner of human speech he’d learned from Star Wars. That meant the woman was not, in fact, an angel. How disappointing. Here he’d thought his search was off to such a good start.

Therrus stroked his chin, the way humans did when they were thinking. He should’ve known angels wouldn’t label themselves. That would make finding them too easy.

“Luke James.”

Pushing aside all thoughts of angels for now, Therrus grabbed his beverage and walked outside. He planned to enjoy his coffee on his favorite bench at a nearby park, but he decided he could take a sip on his way there. As he raised the cup to his lips, someone called his persona’s name.

He glanced around, eager to talk to whatever human had recognized him. No one seemed to be looking his direction. Odd.

With a shrug, Therrus continued on his way. He raised his coffee to his lips again, only for someone to bump into his shoulder. For a horrible moment, he lost his grip on the cup but managed to grab it with his other hand.

He frowned. Drinking coffee while walking was much harder than humans made it look. He would wait until he was seated safely on the bench to try again.

When he made it to the park, Therrus sat and raised the cup again, but suddenly it was snatched from his hand.

“Honestly, some beings just won’t take a hint.”

Turning, Therrus saw a young woman with a blue pixie cut holding his cup. She stared at him with what seemed to be fond exasperation in her tawny eyes.

“Excuse me,” he said, intrigued, “why did you take my coffee?” It was not, in his experience, typical human behavior.

She raised one eyebrow. “Did you know that decaf coffee still contains a small amount of caffeine?”

Therrus sprang to his feet. “But it’s de-caffeine-ated! It can’t have caffeine in it!”

“You’d think that, wouldn’t you?” She shrugged. “But it does.”

Therrus pointed at the beverage. “I can’t have that!”

“Nope.” The woman took a sip of coffee. “But thankfully, I can. It’s one of my favorite parts of being down here.”

As his hearts returned to their normal rhythm, Therrus tilted his head. “Wait… how did you know I can’t have caffeine?”

Her eyes sparkled. “My boss told me.”

He frowned. “But how did your boss know?”

She smiled and looked heavenward. “He’s good like that.”

Therrus followed her gaze, but all he saw was a cloud shaped like a lion. Or was it a lamb? Somehow, it resembled both. When he looked back down, the woman was gone. How peculiar. Humans didn’t have portal hoppers, that he knew of. Besides, the only thing on her wrist had been a fish tattoo he’d heard someone call an Ichthys.

Scanning the area for her, Therrus spotted a tall man with abnormally large feet on the other side of the park. Grinning, Therrus gave up on finding the strange woman and ducked behind a tree to follow him. He might have found the genuine Bigfoot.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Miriam Thor started writing in second grade and never stopped. Her first (unpublished) book was a children’s picture book about seals that is probably still on her mom’s shelf. Currently, Miriam lives in Alabama with her husband and seven adorable cats. She is employed as a sign language interpreter. Her published works include Listening to the Rain, A Kringle Family Christmas, and a number of short stories and poems.

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