Smuggling Time

By Luca Nobleman

“It’s worse than we thought.” Ethel leaned over the ancient oak table and plucked a sweet, still warm tigernut ball from the tray. Her family’s favorite Egyptian chef had prepared it only a few hours ago… Well, technically four thousand years ago… in ancient Egypt. These were the perks of a crime family that dabbled in the business of time smuggling.

“Are you telling me your Tony is stuck in a time loop?” Ethel’s father boomed over the crescendo of Maria Callas singing “Casta Diva” on his 1896 record player. Music kept the kingpin’s mind off his recent cancer diagnosis.

“My Tony? What’s that supposed to mean?” Ethel shifted her shorter leg over the other.

“It means you were supposed to keep an eye on him.” Her father smiled.

Tony “The Ghost” Rossi had been the Grieves family’s go-to trafficking operations manager. A few months ago, Ethel caught him using their time travel technology to send the results of sporting events and stock exchanges to his past self, making extra money on the side. It wasn’t the biggest deal, but last week, when mysterious artifacts from unknown locations and times marked “Tony” showed up in the warehouse, Ethel’s suspicions heightened as to what new hobby the operations manager was undertaking. Ethel hadn’t told her father yet, because she wanted to investigate it further—make sure it fell within her father’s standards of crime. Plus, Ethel had a thing for guys with curly beards.

As he continued questioning, the older man coughed and wheezed. “How do you know it’s a time loop?”

“The analyzer readings indicate it.” Ethel eyed her sickly father. He seems worse.

“Hmm.” The crime lord squinted.

“Popi, it’s not my fault!”

“I never said it was.” His brow furrowed.

“You don’t have to actually say anything for me to know that look, Popi.” Ethel tossed her long braid over her shoulder. Even as she worried about his health, she found it hard not to argue.

“I’ll have your brother look into it.”

“Mikey?” Ethel rolled her eyes behind her thick-rimmed glasses.

“Is there a problem?”

“Popi, let me figure this one out. You know I can fix it.”

Her father grinned and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, all right. But just this once. If anything goes wrong, I’m sending Mikey.”

She nodded, rounded the table, and kissed his head. “Thanks, Popi.”

“Be careful, Ethel. You never know what you’ll find.” His eyes seemed to twinkle.

***

Once Ethel tracked down Tony, she transported to the coordinates using the Quantum Spark Regulator. The readings on its display were unsettling. Instead of numbers, the time and space analyzer both displayed blinking dashes.

Is it because this is a time loop?

Perched on a rocky seaside cliff, Ethel assessed her surroundings. An ocean breeze caught her braid, wreaking havoc as it whipped her in the face. Surprised by the sheer force, she glared at the oncoming wind and nearly toppled over. There were two suns beaming down on her—one large and yellow, the other smaller and red.

What is this place? How did Tony get here?

The heat of the fiery balls in the firmament, combined with her heightened anxiety, triggered instant perspiration dripping down her face. She ripped off her overcoat and began to unbutton her vest, only to discover white cat hair all over the black pinstripes. Fresco must’ve taken a nap in her jacket before she left.

Just as she lifted the device to check for malfunctions, a scratchy voice echoed behind her. “Where’s Tony, Ethel?”

She twirled to see something large and furry scurrying behind a boulder. “Who said that?” She kicked her heel, triggering the knife hidden in the toe of her shoe.

“You are both under arrest!” The furry creature burst from behind the rock, knocking her backward.

The fall took her breath away. As she regained her composure, a giant squirrel in a green vest pounced on her chest, holding a sharp blade to her throat.

“You’ve got the wrong person.” Ethel gasped, readying her shoe knife.

“By the authority of the Timekeepers, I, Phezznibbet Maplebark, place you under arrest for the improper use of—”

Before the squirrel-thing could finish his sentence, the earth rumbled furiously. The ground rocketed into the sky, and Ethel’s stomach sank. Even the squirrel faltered and tumbled until the ground came to an abrupt stop, tossing their bodies into the air before gravity slammed them back to the rocky surface.

Dazed, Ethel shuffled to her feet. Once only a few hundred feet away, the ocean now churned nearly a thousand feet below her.

The squirrel jumped to his hind paws, holding what appeared to be two sharp antlers.

“Who are the Timekeepers?” Ethel yelled over the roaring wind and the rumbling below her feet.

At that moment, the mountain’s peak disarticulated from the rest of the rock and lifted even higher. The massive boulder turned, revealing two enormous glowing blue… eyes?

Is that a head?

“Oh, no… We’re on a titan!” The squirrel yelped.

Titans are real?

In the distance, the behemoth’s immense arm swung through the atmosphere, heading straight for Ethel and the squirrel.

Bracing for impact and, honestly, the end of her crime-ridden life, Ethel winced and closed her eyes.

But the impact never came.

Instead, a voice echoed in the wind, “Hey there, Ethel-girl.”

Opening her eyes, Ethel recognized a curly-bearded and bright-eyed man standing on the tip of the titan’s monstrous finger, wielding a glowing blue crystal. “Tony?”

Tony Rossi grinned triumphantly as he reached his other hand down to Ethel. “Hop on!” Just before the squirrel reached them, Tony tapped the blue crystal and the titan’s hand moved away from their pursuer.

“Hey, get back here!” the squirrel yelled, hopping from rock to rock.

“That blue stone controls the titan?” Ethel gripped Tony tightly.

“Exactly. But more so, your popi wants it because it crystallizes time. He thinks it will help—”

“Keep him alive longer,” Ethel finished Tony’s sentence and smiled.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Luca Nobleman is an author, surgeon, and nerd. To what nerdiness level? Pikachu? He crocheted his own once. Magic the Gathering? His wife rents a storage unit for all his cards. Star Wars action figures? His desk could maybe fit one more K2SO. But it’s okay, because his four children sure like having an extra grown kid in the house. Luca is the author and audiobook/podcast voice for the Dreaming Machines novel series.

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