By Bethany Kohler

Lilen? I pause my scroll through warrant listings. Not many bounties out of that solar system.

I expand the posting. Very few relevant details. 500 universal is good pay though, if it’s an easy job. I tap the Contact button.

“Available for holographic chat,” I mutter. “Let’s see what this is all about.”

It takes a couple minutes to establish a connection. The first thing I see is purple frills. The first thing I hear is a childish voice saying, “Yes, hello? Are you a person hunter?”

“Uh, sort of. I catch criminals and bring them in for justice. Is your daddy home?”

“Perrrfect!” The young Lilenite starts talking very fast. “I need you to find someone for me. He’s called The Wizard of Cornwall. I saved his life this one time when he was turned into a purple parrot, and so he gave me this little slip of paper that says ‘I.O.U.’ And that means he owes me a favor. But I can’t figure out how to summon him. So I need you to bring him to me.”

“You’re going to pay me 500 universal, to fetch a wizard, to do you some favor? Is that right?”

“That would be perfect!”

“Listen, little girl. I hunt criminals. Not wizards.”

A cloud settles over her countenance. “Oh.” She turns away, stomping her foot. “Your ideas are stupid, Dita!”

A robotic voice responds, “I apologize, Miss Persi. I miscalculated; I thought it would make you happy.”

I’m about to disconnect the call when a thought strikes me. “All right, kid. If you pay up front, I’ll take your job.”

“Really?” Her excitement is explosive. “Wonderful!”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’m sending you an invoice. All you have to do is click on my name, Zaivar Witz, and transfer the 500. It’s all encrypted and secure.”

The girl stops gyrating. “Oh, yes, of course.”

I watch the top of her head as she’s busy with the transaction. She finally looks up. “How long will this take? I mean, before you bring me the wizard?”

“That depends, kid. Could be two days, could be two weeks.” I get the confirmation of payment and quickly end the call before she can protest the timeline.

Really? I reprimand myself. We’re stealing candy from babies now?

I set a quick search in my NAV for Cornwall. It’s not stealing. I’ll take a day or two to look for this wizard. 500 isn’t enough for more than two days of my time. If I don’t find him, well… too bad.

My journey to Earth is uneventful.

I’m not sure whether to be gratified or annoyed when I locate the mark in a matter of hours. The clown has a sign over his door in an obnoxiously elaborate script:

THE WIZARD OF CORNWALL

I knock.

There are a series of crashes within before the door is thrown open.

“You want something from me. I can tell.” The wizard sighs. “Well, what is it?”

I size him up. “I don’t know if I can trust a wizard with such unremarkable eyebrows.”

A glimmer of humor lights his eyes. “A fair point, sir, and well-observed. I trim them each morning, else they would be as prominent as the sternest critic could wish.”

I decide the direct approach is best with this guy. “How do you fancy a little vacation off-world?”

The unremarkable eyebrows instantly grow dour. “Is this an attempted kidnapping?”

“Not at all! Do you recall a young Lilenite who did you a favor not too long ago?”

Judging by his crestfallen expression, the wizard definitely remembers.

“Well, she has a little I.O.U. that she wants to cash in on.”

“I really need to stop handing those out,” the poor wizard mutters.

“Maybe just send some little potion along with me to satisfy her?” I suggest.

“No, no. The I.O.U. has to be used in the fulfillment or else I’d still owe her another favor. Just wait a tick while I pack a few things.”

Despite his repeated assurances that he’d be “ready in a tick,” it takes two hours before we’re back on my ship.

He proves a very entertaining traveling companion. He even gives me a few tips on how to use my meager telepathic abilities without a resulting migraine.

Just one day after I took the job, we’re orbiting over Lilen. My miniature client insists we join her for tea. I comply without my usual snark, genuinely curious how this interaction will go.

The kid’s personal robot offers us steaming floral-scented beverages and multicolored bonbons on fancy china.

What a little diva. I watch Persi sip her purple tea with her purple-gloved pinkie out. She sets down her cup and turns to the wizard. “I’m so glad you were able to come. Is the tea to your liking?”

The wizard coughs. “Oh yes. Quite delicious. Thank you. Now, did you have something specific in mind that you’d like to use your I.O.U for?”

“Well… not exactly. I’m just so bored all the time! I was hoping you could make something exciting happen.”

The wizard shakes his disapproving head. “Haven’t you read any cautionary tales about djinn? You can’t leave a request for magic open-ended. Very foolish indeed.”

Persi taps her chin with one forefinger. “Hmm. Oh, I know!” She runs over to a little vanity, opens a jewel-case, withdraws a necklace, and brings it back to the wizard. The gemstone is, of course, purple.

“My friend Cornellie’s necklace has a bigger gem than mine. Can you make mine twice as big?”

“We shall see,” the wizard mutters.

A suspenseful silence lingers as he works his spell.

The I.O.U. suddenly disappears in a white flash, leaving behind an enlarged gemstone.

Persi squeals.

The wizard looks at me, his face betraying his relief. “I need something a bit stronger than tea.”

“I know a place.”

We leave unobserved; Persi is too busy gyrating with her new bauble.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bethany Kohler is a writer and poet with a penchant for witty banter, a weakness for verbose descriptions of scenery, and a passion for weaving truth into fiction. She carries a deep regard for nineteenth-century literature, and counts many dead authors among her mentors. When she’s not reading or writing, Bethany enjoys baking delectable pastries, sewing historically inspired dresses, and singing. Her book Trompe l’Oeil: Beauty and the Beast Retold is now available.

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