It was a typical night in Doomslyvania, where the weather was frequently dark and stormy. Dr. Detestable had ranked the persistent dreary turbulence high in selling points when he’d chosen to build his castle laboratory on these steep, black cliffs. Top three, at least. Ominous circling vultures and a pathetic village to terrorize
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Once again, Diah was breaking into her own palace. She huffed, edging along the shadowed side of her castle. How many times had she done this? Seven? Ten? She was losing count.
She paused and ran her hands along the cold stone wall until she found the deep grooves that had been cut precisely
Pam: I saw one
Jimmy: srsly? What do they look like? I hear they’re so orange, they’ll burn your eyes. Like the sun.
Pam: How’d you now what I’m talking about?
*know
Jimmy: Because it’s all anyone is talking about. Cam got sent to the hospital last week for getting too close
“Could you maybe… not do that?” I pleaded with the fairy as she zipped around the elephant pen.
I’m just an intern at Safari-Land Sanctuary and Tours, and arguing with pixies isn’t on my list of daily tasks—especially not when an important client is scheduled for a tour. I was finishing the
My true love, Prince Corduroy, was a bear. I mean that in the nicest, kindest, and most loving sense. Thanks to the Committee’s vindictive curse, he transforms into a grizzly bear during daylight.
But I had kissed him!
“Shouldn’t that undo the curse?” I asked my best friend and fairy godmother, Amelia.
Horace’s toes tapped to the rhythm. They inched toward the DJ and tried coaxing Horace from his table. He dragged the insistent digits under his chair. They pranced forward again. With one last sigh, Horace tossed away his beer and slipped into the throng of swaying couples.
His feet followed the rhythm perfectly
Come on, try one.” Sal popped a blue strawberry into his mouth.
Jane examined one. “They’re blue. Strawberries are supposed to be red.”
“I know, but my second… no, third cousin Fragar likes to experiment.” Sal took the upcoming exit. “Be adventurous.”
Jane dropped the fruit back into the basket. “I’m not eating
I’d better get that blueberry pie. It’s the only reason I signed up for this ridiculous jousting tournament. Cielo di Spala loosened his hold on the horse’s reins and gripped his lance. A breeze fluttered the frayed, sky blue handkerchief tied around the pole. Alessia’s handkerchief. His ladylove sat in the front row,
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“What will you wear to Flower Fest, Trudy?”
Amelia, my best friend and fairy godmother, flew into the room so fast I sidestepped to keep her from crashing into me. She did that a lot. I had colorful bruises to prove it.
“What will I wear? Clothes. A dress since we still haven’t
“Ohmigod, there’s a tarantula in your grapes!” My chair legs screeched back from the table, and I dropped the grape I had just plucked from the fruit bowl.
“That’s just Ernie. Don’t worry; he won’t bite.” Granny glanced over from her spot at the stove where she’d been churning a bubbling concoction for
This baby’s got zip!” The salesman leaned against the bright green lawnmower, flashing me a brilliant smile. “Gringolet here will cut your mowing time in half, Sir Gawain. You’ll be the Green Thumb of Camelot.”
I’d just been promoted into the Green Thumbs—otherwise known as the Knights of the Front Lawn—
“For the last time, Mr. Hernandez,” I enunciate, poking savage holes in my lime-green blotter with my peacock pen, “you cannot land in Wittenberg, Germany on October 31, 1517.”
“Killjoy,” mutters the time traveler on the other end of the phone. “All I wanted to do was have a look around.”
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