The Ginormous Giant Panda Lie

By Hannah Carter

There were many things eight-year-old Haddie Underwood did not like—sitting still, doing her spellcaster homework, dogs—but she hated being lied to most of all.

Haddie squeezed her sister’s hand and pointed in utter betrayal at the animal inside the deep pit that functioned as a zoo exhibit. “Where is the giant panda?”

Ten-year-old Zelda looked up from the map of Kingland Zoo. “It’s right there. Pongo the male giant panda.”

Haddie glared at Zelda. “That is not a giant panda. He’s small! Regular-sized bears are giant-er than that!”

“He is a giant panda.” Zelda leaned down and showed Haddie pictures of even tinier creatures advertised on the map. “See? He’s a giant panda by comparison. These little animals are also pandas.”

Haddie scoffed. “The zoo lied to me. None of those are giant pandas.” She jabbed her finger at each offending picture, then at the live creature that seemed far too content stuffing bamboo in his face. “Especially that one!”

Zelda sighed. “I’m sorry Pongo didn’t live up to your expectations, but that’s really all there is to it. Now, I have to get more information for my report. C’mon.”

Haddie slipped her hand out of Zelda’s. “Reports are boring. I’ll stay here.”

Zelda huffed. “Fine.” She adjusted Haddie’s necklace, which doubled as a tracker. “Don’t take off your necklace, do you hear me? And…” Zelda narrowed her green eyes. “Do not cause any mischief.”

Haddie grinned. “I never cause mischief, Z.”

Zelda rolled her eyes and turned away. Haddie watched until her sister’s blonde head disappeared in the crowd, then shifted her attention back to her archnemesis—the imposter.

“You are not a giant panda,” Haddie informed Pongo. “At least—not yet.”

She whipped out her wand and pointed it at the panda. “This thing is much too small you know, turn it big and watch it grow!” She shook her wand a few times, just in case the magic needed help getting out. “Grow—grow—grow!”

Pongo paused mid-chew and made squeaky noises. Suddenly, he started to expand.

“Yes!” Haddie jumped in victory. “Over here!”

Pongo rolled over and meandered toward her. He already dwarfed most of the bamboo when he started his journey. By the time he reached her, he didn’t even need to raise his head to make eye contact. His body filled the entire pit, and his face rested on the metal railings surrounding the exhibit.

Haddie scrambled onto Pongo’s nose. “Let’s go! This is a real giant panda!”

She squealed as her newfound pet stepped out of the enclosure and onto the sidewalk. Thankfully, Kingland Zoo wasn’t crowded today, because with his first step out of the habitat, Pongo crushed an empty food stand with one giant paw.

Haddie gleefully clutched fistfuls of fur. “Onward, faithful steed!”

Pongo lumbered forward. He trampled a fire hydrant, and water exploded. His huge rump brushed an electric pole, which tumbled with a pop and pulled the next pole down. Pongo squeaked. Haddie cheered. The electrical wire hit an open umbrella over a picnic table, and it burst into flames.

“We shall rule the world with chaos! Giant, furry—and kinda cute—chaos!” Haddie bellowed. She squinted past the walls of the zoo to the town beyond. She was probably as tall as any of the castles in Kingland now!

Below her, people screamed. Alarms rang out across the zoo.

“Someone get that girl under control!” a man yelled.

Haddie stuck her tongue out at him and watched in glee as he dove into a flamingo pond to avoid being squashed by a giant panda paw.

Right before they got to the exit, Pongo took a step and shuddered.

Crack.

Something rumbled, and the world shook.

“What’s wrong?” Haddie asked. “Keep go—”

Crack!

She shrieked. The concrete shattered; Pongo plunged into a giant-panda-sized pothole ten feet deep. Apparently, sidewalks made for normal human legs could not handle an actual giant panda.

More pops, screams, and general sounds of havoc erupted around Haddie. But somehow, through it all, came the voice of one annoying busybody sister: “Haddie Underwood, what did you do?”

Haddie stared up from the depths of the sinkhole at Zelda’s sooty face.

“I told you. Pongo wasn’t a giant panda, so I had to make him a giant panda.”

“Of course you did.” Zelda whipped her wand out of its holster and pointed it at Pongo. “This town is on disaster’s brink, so make this creature shrink, shrink, shrink!”

Blue magic circled Pongo to reverse Haddie’s spell. Soon, both she and Pongo stared at Zelda from the bottom of the giant pit that resembled a ginormous panda.

Haddie blinked as more irate faces peered over the edge.

“That’s the girl who caused so much trouble?”

“She’s so young! How could she know such advanced magic?”

“We Underwoods are very advanced,” Haddie informed the onlookers.

A zookeeper groaned. “An Underwood? Your ancestor was the one who sank Atlantis into the ocean!”

“I heard an Underwood caused the dancing plague!”

“Wasn’t it an Underwood who opened the ley lines that sent Avalon to another world?”

Haddie grunted as she tried to climb up out of the rubble. “I have a very big legacy to live up to.”

“You’re lucky you won’t live up to it in prison.” With another wave of her wand, Zelda levitated Haddie and deposited her on the ground.

The entire sidewalk was flooded. Fires burned in several places; a siren wailed just beyond the exit.

Zelda groaned. “Why, Haddie?”

“I told you.” Haddie sniffed. “It wasn’t a giant panda.”

Zelda squeezed the bridge of her nose. “You’re gonna be in so much trouble when I tell Mum.”

Haddie peered back into the hole at Pongo. He squeaked at her. He was pretty cute, even if the whole “giant” thing was a lie. “Hey, Z… you think we could keep an average-sized panda as a pet?”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hannah Carter is just a girl who wakes up every day hoping it will be the day she discovers she’s secretly a mermaid. Her work has been included in several anthologies: Whispers From Before, The Depths We’ll Go, Havok’s Prismatic, and Finding God in Anime. Her short story, “Lara,” won a competition, and she has two published novellas, “Amir and the Moon” and “Seashells.”

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