Havok Publishing

Tag - humor

A Nosy Neighborhood Stakeout

A good neighborhood stakeout always starts with a comfy porch swing and my famous pound cake. Archie’s curled up on my lap, watching the street for any sign of Uncannies—or rabbits. Ever since he got into a scuffle with a bunny—and lost—he’s been on his guard.

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Dragon Pox

Reaching the top of the steep staircase, Bayard slowed his pace. The crescent moon couldn’t brighten the shadows of the final turn leading into the roost, but determination carried him through. He purposefully scuffed his feet and sent a rock clattering over the edge

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Safety Recall

NOTICE OF SAFETY RECALL: DOMESTIC BOTS

According to our records, you recently purchased a domestic bot from The Gentrifix Corporation. A routine safety check revealed an anomaly in the bot’s code that makes it aggressive when exposed to the unique shade of Martian Red.

Contrary to recent, unsanctioned news reports

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Dances with Werewolves

Day 1
Dear Mom,
I’m writing you these letters in case I die. Pa knows what to do with my body if anyone finds me out here in the wild. Peter drafted a eulogy before I left. It was beautiful. We both cried.
So far, my quest to retrieve your amulet—something I’ve

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Fantasy Friday featured image (season 2)

Let Them Eat Cake

Apparently, poison tasted like cake. The M.A’s—aka Master Assassin’s—butler hovered over my shoulder as I stared down at the remaining crumbs. After I enjoyed every bite of the slice of cake, the butler victoriously announced he’d poisoned it.
What an idiot, a shrill airy voice whispered straight into my mind.

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Techno Tuesday featured image (season 2)

A Recipe for Disaster

“Look at me, bringing home the bacon for my lady!” Fred hung his jacket in the closet and followed me into what used to be my kitchen. He excitedly inspected the enormous metal box that had replaced our cabinets, refrigerator, oven, toaster, blender, and microwave.

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Raiders of the Last Cruller

Sunday morning, Bobby Jo Evans walked into Raiders Donuts and bought every single old-fashioned, jelly, long john, and cruller in the establishment. Armed with her pocketbook and righteous conviction, she knew only two things could kill the holy fire on that sacred day: faith without works and church without donuts.

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Show Me Your Socks

As soon as Mister Crockett found that sock on the floor of our dormitory, I knew we were in big trouble. Of all the teachers in the Reformatory School for Troubled Young Monsters, Crockett was the oldest, the meanest, and the wrinkliest.

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Santa’s Little Foes

Oh, I can already taste our sweet victory! Just imagine the rush, the bliss! That old nudnik Santa will give us elves what we desire. No, what we deserve. Finally, we’ll have—
“They’re coming!” Pint Ree slides down the snowbank. His elfin ears are red with adrenaline, small hands shaking.

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Staff Saturday featured image

Threat Level Dolphin

The jungle island loomed ahead, a silhouette against the rising sun. I hurtled across the tips of the waves in my best tuxedo. Six of the most accomplished and highly trained Navy SEALs to ever swim for Uncle Sam followed close behind.
We made for a cave hidden at the back of a narrow cove,

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Staff Saturday featured image

Kudzu Killers

Kyle yelled as a tendril of vine lifted him off his feet, whirled him through the air, and deposited him in a breathless heap on the ground.
Gritting his teeth, he sprang back up and raised his axe. The vines drew back, their long cords moving like fingers, preparing for another assault.

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The Case of the Serial Burglar

Tony took a long drag from the cigarette as he glared at the tattered sign on his office door. “Private ye.” He exhaled, and a cloud of gray smoke blocked the letters from his vision. He stared at the smoldering cigarette butt before rubbing it onto blank space

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