Subject: Re: Hello…
Dear Cousin George,
It’s good to finally hear from you! Are you still living in that cheap hunk of metal you call a computer? The one you’re always complaining about at gremlin get-togethers?
Tag - humor
It had been three months since someone last licked me.
That was a weird experience.
The offending party apologized profusely and dropped me like I was a talking cupcake. Which, at the time, I was. Couldn’t really blame them for running away screaming.
Now, trying not to be nervous, I locked up my realtor’s
It was a typical night in Doomslyvania, where the weather was frequently dark and stormy. Dr. Detestable had ranked the persistent dreary turbulence high in selling points when he’d chosen to build his castle laboratory on these steep, black cliffs. Top three, at least. Ominous circling vultures and a pathetic village to terrorizeRead it now
Pam: I saw one
Jimmy: srsly? What do they look like? I hear they’re so orange, they’ll burn your eyes. Like the sun.
Pam: How’d you now what I’m talking about?
Jimmy: Because it’s all anyone is talking about. Cam got sent to the hospital last week for getting too close
Horace’s toes tapped to the rhythm. They inched toward the DJ and tried coaxing Horace from his table. He dragged the insistent digits under his chair. They pranced forward again. With one last sigh, Horace tossed away his beer and slipped into the throng of swaying couples.
His feet followed the rhythm perfectly
I’d better get that blueberry pie. It’s the only reason I signed up for this ridiculous jousting tournament. Cielo di Spala loosened his hold on the horse’s reins and gripped his lance. A breeze fluttered the frayed, sky blue handkerchief tied around the pole. Alessia’s handkerchief. His ladylove sat in the front row,Read it now
A good neighborhood stakeout always starts with a comfy porch swing and my famous pound cake. Archie’s curled up on my lap, watching the street for any sign of Uncannies—or rabbits. Ever since he got into a scuffle with a bunny—and lost—he’s been on his guard.Read it now
NOTICE OF SAFETY RECALL: DOMESTIC BOTS
According to our records, you recently purchased a domestic bot from The Gentrifix Corporation. A routine safety check revealed an anomaly in the bot’s code that makes it aggressive when exposed to the unique shade of Martian Red.
Contrary to recent, unsanctioned news reportsRead it now
Apparently, poison tasted like cake. The M.A’s—aka Master Assassin’s—butler hovered over my shoulder as I stared down at the remaining crumbs. After I enjoyed every bite of the slice of cake, the butler victoriously announced he’d poisoned it.
What an idiot, a shrill airy voice whispered straight into my mind.